At our Christmas brunch today, we focused on the joy of this season and an amazing, biblical Woman of Influence, Mary (mother of Jesus). We met up in the sanctuary and enjoyed the beautiful winter wonderland "set" on the stage and a Christmas Carol sing-a-long. Then, Beth offered a special reading of the Christmas story through Mary's eyes, which was followed by a powerful and moving video (featuring the song "Born in Me", sung by Francesca Battistelli).
Connie Boerner spoke and her message centered on the invitations we receive and the rsvps we make during the holiday season. Drawing comparisons, she explained Jesus does not send invitations, but instead works in mysterious ways. He speaks to us through the manager scene and is asking our hearts to be a Bethlehem for him. As we celebrate Jesus' birth, who He is and why he came, He is inviting us to walk with Him.
What are we going to do with His invitation?
Will we rsvp and trust Him with our lives?
Because Mary said yes to God's invitation, we are here today. As we celebrate this Christmas season, let's remember why we are celebrating!
If you'd like to watch the video shared during the meeting, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZ3BIFFLCKQ
Our next meeting will be on January 17th. Lisa Sinclair will speak on Attentiveness: Women's Self Care. We hope to see you there!
Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
This blog is dedicated to the Moms of Influence group at Northbrook Church in Richfield, WI.
Nov. 15: Resourcefulness: Saving
Today's meeting looked a little different; instead of a "live" speaker, we watched a speaker/presentation on DVD. The speaker was Dave Ramsey, who is known as a financial author, radio host, television personality, and motivational speaker. The DVD we watched is part of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace series and the session we covered was titled "Buyer Beware".
Dave started out talking about "the enemy of your Financial Peace" (companies/marketing) and the 4 Major Ways companies market to you. He shared that we live in the most marketed to culture in the history of the world and that companies use every angle to aggressively compete for your money. Some interesting statistics include: adults see 3,000-4,000 advertisements/day, kids born today will see over 1 million ads in their lifetime, companies will spend $15 billion this year alone on ads geared towards children, and that watching 1 hour of TV/week will equal an extra $200/year spent on products.
The Four Major Ways companies market to us:
1. Personal Selling
2. Financing as a marketing tool (no interest until 2012, 0% interest loans, no money down, etc)
3. TV, Radio, Internet, and other media
4. Product Positioning (brand recognition, color, shelf position, and packaging)
Dave then shared some tips about significant purchases and what to do before making them. A "significant purchase" is normally anything over $300. Our bodies actually go through physiological changes when making a significant purchase.
He also shared that we all have a spoiled, red-faced, tantrum-throwing kid living inside of us.....and his name is "immaturity". If this kid runs your buying decisions all of your life, you will be broke. Children do what feels good, but adults devise a plan and follow it.
What To Do When Making a Significant Purchase:
Because you can always spend more than you make, you must develop a power over purchase by:
1. Waiting Overnight before making a purchase.
2. Carefully considering your buying motives. NO amount of STUFF equals contentment or fulfillment.
3. Never buying anything you do not understand (such as certain types of insurance coverage or investments)
4. Considering the "opportunity cost" of your money.
5. Seeking the counsel of your spouse or accountability partner.
"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her ; so he will have no lack of gain." Proverbs 31:10-11 (NKJV)
Some good tips to follow especially as we hit the stores for our Black Friday/Christmas shopping :)
Have a very Happy Thanksgiving and please join us for our Christmas Brunch on Tuesday, December 6th!!
Dave started out talking about "the enemy of your Financial Peace" (companies/marketing) and the 4 Major Ways companies market to you. He shared that we live in the most marketed to culture in the history of the world and that companies use every angle to aggressively compete for your money. Some interesting statistics include: adults see 3,000-4,000 advertisements/day, kids born today will see over 1 million ads in their lifetime, companies will spend $15 billion this year alone on ads geared towards children, and that watching 1 hour of TV/week will equal an extra $200/year spent on products.
The Four Major Ways companies market to us:
1. Personal Selling
2. Financing as a marketing tool (no interest until 2012, 0% interest loans, no money down, etc)
3. TV, Radio, Internet, and other media
4. Product Positioning (brand recognition, color, shelf position, and packaging)
Dave then shared some tips about significant purchases and what to do before making them. A "significant purchase" is normally anything over $300. Our bodies actually go through physiological changes when making a significant purchase.
He also shared that we all have a spoiled, red-faced, tantrum-throwing kid living inside of us.....and his name is "immaturity". If this kid runs your buying decisions all of your life, you will be broke. Children do what feels good, but adults devise a plan and follow it.
What To Do When Making a Significant Purchase:
Because you can always spend more than you make, you must develop a power over purchase by:
1. Waiting Overnight before making a purchase.
2. Carefully considering your buying motives. NO amount of STUFF equals contentment or fulfillment.
3. Never buying anything you do not understand (such as certain types of insurance coverage or investments)
4. Considering the "opportunity cost" of your money.
5. Seeking the counsel of your spouse or accountability partner.
"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her ; so he will have no lack of gain." Proverbs 31:10-11 (NKJV)
Some good tips to follow especially as we hit the stores for our Black Friday/Christmas shopping :)
Have a very Happy Thanksgiving and please join us for our Christmas Brunch on Tuesday, December 6th!!
Nov. 1: Faith: Hope in Marriage
Pat and Pam Quinn shared with us their experiences and insights regarding strategies for working through the ups and downs of married life. Their message focused on how to go about working through tough times when: 1. Our husband is hurting. 2. We are hurting. 3. We both are hurting.
When HE is hurting:
1. Realize you can't solve the problem for him.
2. When he's sitting there watching tv, surfing the Internet and looking like he's doing nothing, realize he actually is using that time to work through his problem.
3. You telling friends and family about his problem, doesn't help him solve the problem and actually makes him hurt and feel emasculated.
What SHE can do while he is hurting:
1. Listen.
2. Give him time to work on things.
3. Be supportive.
4. Show confidence in him that you know he can work the problem out.
When SHE is hurting:
1. Women need to process things by talking through the problem.
2. Women need to be validated.
3. Women need to know that we are normal and we are not alone.
What HE can do while she is hurting:
1. Don't try to solve her problem but, instead, listen to her.
2. Realize men are bad at needs identification (knowing what they can do to help) but do want to be helpful and supportive. Tell them what they can do to help you (dishes, bedtime, laundry) while you work through the problem.
When you BOTH are hurting:
1. Practice fair fighting rules. Examples:
- Realize just because mom did things this way, doesn't mean it's the right/only way to do things.
- Make "I" statements rather than "You" statements.
- Recognize you and your spouse may have different fighting styles.
- Don't use words like "never" and "always".
- Do explain how you are feeling in response to what they are saying.
- Remember, in those moments, that you still love your spouse.
2. Carve out times to talk (both in good times and in bad).
3. Remember the purpose of discussion is not to win, but to solve the problem.
4. If you reach a point when you need to talk to someone about your marriage, be very careful who you choose because that person could ultimately influence the outcome of your marriage.
Our discussion topic for the Nov. 15th mtg. will be "Resourcefulness: Saving". We hope to see you there!
October 18: Diligence: Instilling Values in Your Kids
We heard from Brodie Swanson, Associate Pastor of Children's and Family Ministry at Elmbrook Church, who discussed the whys and hows for instilling values in our children.
Top 3 Values you can Instill in your Preschooler and Why they are Important:
1. Honesty. A child raised with honesty becomes a teenager/adult who never has to cover his tracks, is trusted by kids and their parents, will have better clarity about who they are and what they think, and will teach them to be their own advocate.
2. Respect. (Kids learn this mostly from watching adults. How we talk about people and situations influences how they think and act.) A child raised with respect will learn to value the mutual respect and consideration of others opinions and differences.
3. Forgiveness. A child raised to value forgiveness becomes an adult who can deal with hurts and move forward. Learning to say and accept "I forgive you" is a very powerful tool.
How to do this:
- We want to instill values, not install them. Don't just tell them, but explain why.
- Know your child's development path. Recognize what they can and will grasp and certain ages/stages and adjust accordingly.
- Use the appropriate methods. Use teachable moments, speak their language (role play), discuss things ahead of time rather than reacting in the moment.
- Don't underestimate the value of your example!
For a power point of Brodie's presentation, click here.
After listening to Brodie speak, we decorated vases using simple tools like masking tape, glue and food coloring.
We hope to see you at the next mtg. on Nov. 1st when we will be discussing "Faith: Hope in Marriage."
October 4: Loyalty: The Value of Women's Friendships
Today's meeting focused on the topic of Friendship! Our speakers, who also happen to be close friends, spoke on the "Value of Friendships". They gave valuable advice about why friendships are important, what friendships need, and how to find friends.
Why Invest in Friendships?
- Good for your husband
- Good for YOU!!
- Good for your kids (model friendship to them; get refreshed/renewed by time with friends)
What Friendships Need:
2 cups of Laughter, 1 Handful of Loyalty (gossip will destroy relationships), 1 Heart full of Love, a Dash of Understanding, 3 Cups of Patience (you can respect each other w/out agreeing on everything. Allow friends to make personal choices that might be different from yours; you can learn from each other)
Finding Friends:
- Seek out Mentors
- Pray for godly friends
- Join mommy groups/play groups
- look around you at the people you spend time with every day (neighbors, co-workers, etc)
- continue making friends throughout life, no matter what your age. You may find that you make new/different friends based on the "season of life" you are in.
After our speakers were done, we heard the story of Ruth, whose name means "friendship". Then we dismissed to our discussion group time. We finished the morning with a picnic lunch outside.....so the kids could play and the moms could spend time forming and/or "growing" friendships with their fellow Moms of Influence moms.
See you in two weeks, when we will hear about instilling values in our kids!!
Why Invest in Friendships?
- Good for your husband
- Good for YOU!!
- Good for your kids (model friendship to them; get refreshed/renewed by time with friends)
What Friendships Need:
2 cups of Laughter, 1 Handful of Loyalty (gossip will destroy relationships), 1 Heart full of Love, a Dash of Understanding, 3 Cups of Patience (you can respect each other w/out agreeing on everything. Allow friends to make personal choices that might be different from yours; you can learn from each other)
Finding Friends:
- Seek out Mentors
- Pray for godly friends
- Join mommy groups/play groups
- look around you at the people you spend time with every day (neighbors, co-workers, etc)
- continue making friends throughout life, no matter what your age. You may find that you make new/different friends based on the "season of life" you are in.
After our speakers were done, we heard the story of Ruth, whose name means "friendship". Then we dismissed to our discussion group time. We finished the morning with a picnic lunch outside.....so the kids could play and the moms could spend time forming and/or "growing" friendships with their fellow Moms of Influence moms.
See you in two weeks, when we will hear about instilling values in our kids!!
September 20: Kick-Off: Enthusiasm: Moms of Influence
Today we had our first official meeting for Moms of Influence! What a great morning! It was so nice to come together and see our friends after our "summer break". It was really great to see a number of new faces as well! We started the morning with an ice breaker game and then watched a funny "rap" VIDEO (by Anita Renfroe) about motherhood.
Our speaker shared some thoughts about how other women in our lives influence us and how we can influence others. She shared three definitions of INFLUENCE:
1) The POWER to be a compelling force.
2) The action or PROCESS of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, of others.
3) To affect by GENTLE action.
She also encouraged us to influence others in our lives to use their God-given gifts, to look for ways to influence others/take little steps to make a difference, to be intentional about influencing others, and to slow down and find "gentle" ways to reach out to those in need.
Our speaker concluded by reminding us that the greatest influence in our lives is our relationship with Jesus and shared the following verse:
"Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water'". John 7:38 ESV
We had a wonderful morning and are looking forward to our next meeting (topic - Women's Friendships) on October 4th!!
Our speaker shared some thoughts about how other women in our lives influence us and how we can influence others. She shared three definitions of INFLUENCE:
1) The POWER to be a compelling force.
2) The action or PROCESS of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, of others.
3) To affect by GENTLE action.
She also encouraged us to influence others in our lives to use their God-given gifts, to look for ways to influence others/take little steps to make a difference, to be intentional about influencing others, and to slow down and find "gentle" ways to reach out to those in need.
Our speaker concluded by reminding us that the greatest influence in our lives is our relationship with Jesus and shared the following verse:
"Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water'". John 7:38 ESV
We had a wonderful morning and are looking forward to our next meeting (topic - Women's Friendships) on October 4th!!
KICK-OFF (September 20th)
Please join us for our Moms of Influence Kick-Off on Tuesday, September 20th. We have a very fun morning planned! We meet at Northbrook Church in Richfield from 9:15 am - 11:15 am. Hope to see you there!!
OPEN HOUSE
Please mark your calendars and join us at our Open House on Tuesday, September 13th!! The open house will take place at Northbrook Church from 9 am until 11 am. This will be a great opportunity for you to see where our meetings take place, preview the child care area, register for Moms of Influence (if you haven't done so yet), attend an informational meeting, and visit tables where you can learn more about our fall bible studies, the Moms of Influence picnic scheduled for October 4th, Joy House tour/serve opportunities, or even purchase a Moms of Influence shirt! Kids are welcome to attend this event! Feel free to invite your friends as well! Hope to see you there!!
Great Opportunity!!
Here is a great opportunity for all of you.....you can subscribe to Focus on the Family's Thriving Family Magazine for FREE!! I currently subscribe to this magazine and LOVE it! There are so many great articles about faith, parenting (all different ages/stages), and family issues. If you are interested in learning more or signing up to receive this magazine for free, click HERE. Enjoy!!
May 17: Chlorine: The Sweet Smell of Summer Ideas
Hard to believe, but today was our last MOPS meeting of the 2010-2011 "season". It was a fun-filled and busy morning! We honored our "graduates" with a short ceremony and small gifts (a mop, poem, and Kit-Kat bar). It is always so bittersweet to see our friends "graduate" from our group and move into this next phase (school-aged kids) of motherhood. We also took time to thank our wonderful leadership/steering team and MOPPETS workers. These amazing women are a vital part of our program and our meetings just wouldn't happen without all of their hard work!
Our speaker, one of our fellow MOPS moms, shared some great ideas for things to do with our children this summer. She broke her talk into four sections: Things To Expect, Things To Do, Things To Play, and Things To Be.
1) Things to Expect:
messy home, more laundry, bathing bonanza (summer time = MORE baths), changing plans, weather, fatigue, and differences (interests/abilities) from year to year
2)Things to Do:
4 Free - library, parades, parks, concerts, read, cook, craft, hike, picnic, paint,k journal, campfire
4 Fee - Summer School, Rec classes, swim, movies @ theater, zoo, Breakfast on the Farm, museums, fairs/festivals, Vacation Bible School
3)Things to Play:
old school playground games, relay races, treasure hunts, tabletop Olympics, marble raceways (build and then play with), paper play (hats, boats, airplanes, origami)
4) Things to Be:
organized, flexible, routine, random, fun, creative, instructive, balanced, holy
Have a fabulous summer, enjoy some time with your kiddos/family, and see you in September for the Moms of Influence kick-off!! Bring a friend too!
Our speaker, one of our fellow MOPS moms, shared some great ideas for things to do with our children this summer. She broke her talk into four sections: Things To Expect, Things To Do, Things To Play, and Things To Be.
1) Things to Expect:
messy home, more laundry, bathing bonanza (summer time = MORE baths), changing plans, weather, fatigue, and differences (interests/abilities) from year to year
2)Things to Do:
4 Free - library, parades, parks, concerts, read, cook, craft, hike, picnic, paint,k journal, campfire
4 Fee - Summer School, Rec classes, swim, movies @ theater, zoo, Breakfast on the Farm, museums, fairs/festivals, Vacation Bible School
3)Things to Play:
old school playground games, relay races, treasure hunts, tabletop Olympics, marble raceways (build and then play with), paper play (hats, boats, airplanes, origami)
4) Things to Be:
organized, flexible, routine, random, fun, creative, instructive, balanced, holy
Have a fabulous summer, enjoy some time with your kiddos/family, and see you in September for the Moms of Influence kick-off!! Bring a friend too!
May 3: Krypton: Supermom: Let Me Hold You Longer
Today was our Mother's Day Brunch/Invite-Your-Mom meeting. We had a wonderful morning together reflecting on the awesome privilege and responsibility of motherhood! It was nice to have so many of our moms/mother-in laws join us this morning as well. In addition to some extra door prizes and special gifts for our guests, we also had a craft sale (to clear out some of the old craft supplies in our cabinets) and mixed up some homemade body scrubs using Epsom salts, olive oil, and essential oils (which were then poured into decorated baby food jars).
The topic of our talk this morning was "Let Me Hold You Longer" and our speaker used some excerpts from that book mixed with personal stories and photos to inspire and encourage us all. She started by reminding us that motherhood is a priceless gift as well as an unrelenting responsibility. At times we may get too caught up in the 3 D's of mothering: Dishes, Diapers, and Dust. We need to remember that this season of our lives will go by too quickly and before we know it the kids will be grown.
In the moments when we are stressed out, exhausted, and frustrated, we need to rest in God and cast our cares upon Him. We should be alert to the many lessons that our children can teach us.
Also, we should try not to lose sight of what is real and what is important:
1) Everyday celebrate at least 1 thing; don't just wait for big events. Celebrate the wonder of your family.....have a special meal, sing a silly song, dance around the house, etc.
2) Maintain Perspective: in the quiet moments of the day (like when the kids are asleep), we are reminded of our priorities and purpose as a mom. Our job, leading our kids to God, is an eternal one!
3) Remember and capture the moments - take LOTS of pictures, keep a journal
4) Pray: Here is a wonderful prayer that our speaker shared with us today...
Lord, give me the patience when wee hands
Tug at me with their small demands
Give me gentle and smiling eyes;
Keep my lips from hasty replies.
Let not weariness, confusion, or noise
Obscure my vision of life's fleeting joys.
So, when in years to come, my house is still
No bitter memories its rooms may fill.
Mothering is a journey; every "last" is leading to another "first". As our kids grow, and eventually move on to other things, parenting DOESN'T STOP...it just looks different.
On those days, when you are overwhelmed with your responsibilities as a mother, keep this verse in mind:
Isaiah 41:13
For I hold you by your right hand—
I, the Lord your God.
And I say to you,
‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.
The topic of our talk this morning was "Let Me Hold You Longer" and our speaker used some excerpts from that book mixed with personal stories and photos to inspire and encourage us all. She started by reminding us that motherhood is a priceless gift as well as an unrelenting responsibility. At times we may get too caught up in the 3 D's of mothering: Dishes, Diapers, and Dust. We need to remember that this season of our lives will go by too quickly and before we know it the kids will be grown.
In the moments when we are stressed out, exhausted, and frustrated, we need to rest in God and cast our cares upon Him. We should be alert to the many lessons that our children can teach us.
Also, we should try not to lose sight of what is real and what is important:
1) Everyday celebrate at least 1 thing; don't just wait for big events. Celebrate the wonder of your family.....have a special meal, sing a silly song, dance around the house, etc.
2) Maintain Perspective: in the quiet moments of the day (like when the kids are asleep), we are reminded of our priorities and purpose as a mom. Our job, leading our kids to God, is an eternal one!
3) Remember and capture the moments - take LOTS of pictures, keep a journal
4) Pray: Here is a wonderful prayer that our speaker shared with us today...
Lord, give me the patience when wee hands
Tug at me with their small demands
Give me gentle and smiling eyes;
Keep my lips from hasty replies.
Let not weariness, confusion, or noise
Obscure my vision of life's fleeting joys.
So, when in years to come, my house is still
No bitter memories its rooms may fill.
Mothering is a journey; every "last" is leading to another "first". As our kids grow, and eventually move on to other things, parenting DOESN'T STOP...it just looks different.
On those days, when you are overwhelmed with your responsibilities as a mother, keep this verse in mind:
Isaiah 41:13
For I hold you by your right hand—
I, the Lord your God.
And I say to you,
‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.
April 19: Oxygen: Need to Live - He is Risen!
While preparing our hearts for Easter, Pastor Mike Bellanti, lead pastor at Northbrook Church and father of two, spoke this week to encourage, inspire, and validate all moms. He reminded us that there was someone in Jesus' life who was always with him - from conception to resurrection - Mary, the mother of Jesus. Mary gave birth to the Hope of the World, a man who was fully God, but she was responsible for raising Him, a son who was also fully human. We are not raising children who are the Hope of the World, but Pastor Mike did remind us that in Genesis 1:27 we are told that we are created in the image of God. We are not "just" a mom, we are caring for the image of God on Earth! While our current culture may have diminished, devalued and disrespected the role of mothers, what greater job is there than to be caretakers of the image of God?
Pastor Mike lifted us up, reminding us that we are valued, appreciated and respected. He also encouraged us to remember that motherhood (and life) is made up of different seasons. Many mothers of preschoolers might agree that we are in the "I'm so tired I can't even think any more" season, but it will eventually come to an end. And perhaps knowing the season will not last, we can learn to embrace the season we are in and navigate it successfully. As it is written in Isaiah 41:10:
Pastor Mike lifted us up, reminding us that we are valued, appreciated and respected. He also encouraged us to remember that motherhood (and life) is made up of different seasons. Many mothers of preschoolers might agree that we are in the "I'm so tired I can't even think any more" season, but it will eventually come to an end. And perhaps knowing the season will not last, we can learn to embrace the season we are in and navigate it successfully. As it is written in Isaiah 41:10:
So do not fear, for I am with you;What do we need during this season of life to feel renewed?
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
- Appreciation,
- A break from life and its responsibilities,
- Rest and
- Validation.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;This Easter season while we celebrate the newness of life we have through Christ Jesus, let us also remember that there was a mom at the foot of that cross who had been entrusted with raising the Son of God on Earth. Let us value our role as the caretakers of the image of God, and find our strength, renewal, rest and validation in the arms of our Father.
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
April 5: Lithium Battery: Leaders Keep Going and Going and Going....
Today's meeting was our annual Leadership Tea, a morning where we celebrate and recognize the importance of the moms in our group. This year's tea was all about those inspiring and influential moments and people in our lives. We also celebrated the influence that we have in our families, with our children, and with other friends/moms we come in contact with.
Another important and exciting moment was the announcement that Northbrook is launching a NEW ministry for preschool moms. Starting in September, we will be........
For more information about this new ministry, please click HERE. We are currently accepting registration forms for next year (starting September 2011).
The bulk of our morning consisted of powerful testimonies from a number of our steering team members. These women shared about influential people and moments in their lives. We finished up our morning with a slide show set to the song "Who You Are" by Hilary Weeks and the presentation of a "Moms of Influence" cake!
March 15: Lead: Put on Your Armor for a Great Marriage
We had the privilege of having Dr. Richard Marks, Executive Director of ConnectUs 4 Life, speak to us about marriage. He shared a lot of interesting and practical advice about marriage. Below are some of the highlights from today's presentation. And if you are looking for some great "date night ideas", see this week's newsletter (follow the link on the lower right side of the page).
Humans were created "needy".
We all have needs that must be, and will be, met.
When our needs are met, we feel loved. When they aren't met, we feel unloved.
PAIN pursues PLEASURE.
CARESS (an acronym for our basic needs):
Comfort
Attention, Acceptance, Affection,
Approval, Appreciation, Affirmation,
Respect
Encouragement
Security
Support
When a loved one (spouse, child, etc) acts out, you can "discipline" the behavior, but you should also "listen for the need" behind the behavior. What is the unmet need that is causing this behavior?
There is no place for competition in marriage/intimacy. We need to give/serve/ meet others' needs, regardless of whether our needs are being met. Jesus is our model for this! He loves us and meets our needs even when we reject/ignore him.
What does it take to have a great marriage? US!!
US is the third entity in the marriage and it is a synergy/energy in the relationship. It's about becoming "one flesh".
How do you know if you have US in your marriage? You can FEEL it; you sense it's presence and you can sense it's absence.
In a marriage there are decisions he makes, decisions she makes, and decisions that US makes. Everyone needs to respect where decisions belong/whose decision something is!
We need to fight for our US-ness. One needs to practice humility in order to keep US around.
When US wins, everyone wins! When US loses, everyone loses!
Value your marriage and make it a priority. Don't let the kids become a higher priority than your spouse/marriage. Eventually, the children will grow up and leave the house, but you will still have each other. Keep that bond strong!
Click here to read more (from Thriving Family magazine) about enjoying your spouse and keeping your marriage a top priority!
Humans were created "needy".
We all have needs that must be, and will be, met.
When our needs are met, we feel loved. When they aren't met, we feel unloved.
PAIN pursues PLEASURE.
CARESS (an acronym for our basic needs):
Comfort
Attention, Acceptance, Affection,
Approval, Appreciation, Affirmation,
Respect
Encouragement
Security
Support
When a loved one (spouse, child, etc) acts out, you can "discipline" the behavior, but you should also "listen for the need" behind the behavior. What is the unmet need that is causing this behavior?
There is no place for competition in marriage/intimacy. We need to give/serve/ meet others' needs, regardless of whether our needs are being met. Jesus is our model for this! He loves us and meets our needs even when we reject/ignore him.
What does it take to have a great marriage? US!!
US is the third entity in the marriage and it is a synergy/energy in the relationship. It's about becoming "one flesh".
How do you know if you have US in your marriage? You can FEEL it; you sense it's presence and you can sense it's absence.
In a marriage there are decisions he makes, decisions she makes, and decisions that US makes. Everyone needs to respect where decisions belong/whose decision something is!
We need to fight for our US-ness. One needs to practice humility in order to keep US around.
When US wins, everyone wins! When US loses, everyone loses!
Value your marriage and make it a priority. Don't let the kids become a higher priority than your spouse/marriage. Eventually, the children will grow up and leave the house, but you will still have each other. Keep that bond strong!
Click here to read more (from Thriving Family magazine) about enjoying your spouse and keeping your marriage a top priority!
March 1: Platinum Best: Women's Health
Though the title of today's program was "Women's Health", it was more focused on women's emotional and mental health. No doubt we all struggle (or have struggled) with various emotional issues, so we were fortunate to have Sarah Reik, a licensed professional counselor, woman, Christian and mom speak with us candidly about some of our most pressing emotional challenges. Sarah owns Trinity Counseling Services, LLC and specializes in Christian counseling, using the truth of God's Word to help hurting people. She works with individuals, couples, and families dealing with such issues as depression, anxiety, relationship problems, money management, job loss, struggling marriages, divorce recovery, adolescent issues, and stress management.
MOPS moms had submitted questions and topics prior to today's meeting for Sarah to prepare and discuss. Some of the issues covered were:
What better way to care for our family if we first take care of our spiritual, emotional and mental health!
MOPS moms had submitted questions and topics prior to today's meeting for Sarah to prepare and discuss. Some of the issues covered were:
- engaging an unwilling spouse in counseling,
- struggling with marital intimacy,
- grieving the loss of a child,
- identifying depression (postpartum or otherwise) in self or others,
- supporting an unemployed spouse.
What better way to care for our family if we first take care of our spiritual, emotional and mental health!
February 15: Neon Nights: Love & Respect in Marriage
Today's topic was "Marriagology: Love and Respect", presented by a Christian couple that has been married for almost 20 years. Our speakers feel that you must build your marriage on a strong foundation, with God at the center. That doesn't mean you won't face "storms" in your marriage, but that when those storms come, you will have a solid, firm foundation on which to stand!
They shared with us some of the rules in their marriage, including: putting God at the center of the marriage, making each other and the marriage the TOP priority (over jobs, kids, etc), taking a one-week vacation without the kids each year, and maintaining an active prayer life.
A large part of their talk focused on concepts found in the book "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs.
Ephesians 5:33 reads, "Husbands must love their wives as themselves and wives must respect their husbands."
Our speakers (and Eggerichs' book) talked about 3 different cycles in marriage: Crazy Cycle, Energizing Cycle, and Rewarded Cycle.
Crazy Cycle: Without Love - She Reacts - Without Respect - He Reacts - Without Love......
Energizing Cycle: His Love - Motivates - Her Respect - Motivates - His Love......
We learned about 6 ways to spell respect to our husbands, using the acronym C.H.A.I.R.S.
They shared with us some of the rules in their marriage, including: putting God at the center of the marriage, making each other and the marriage the TOP priority (over jobs, kids, etc), taking a one-week vacation without the kids each year, and maintaining an active prayer life.
A large part of their talk focused on concepts found in the book "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs.
Ephesians 5:33 reads, "Husbands must love their wives as themselves and wives must respect their husbands."
Our speakers (and Eggerichs' book) talked about 3 different cycles in marriage: Crazy Cycle, Energizing Cycle, and Rewarded Cycle.
Crazy Cycle: Without Love - She Reacts - Without Respect - He Reacts - Without Love......
Energizing Cycle: His Love - Motivates - Her Respect - Motivates - His Love......
We learned about 6 ways to spell respect to our husbands, using the acronym C.H.A.I.R.S.
- Conquest - Appreciate his desire to work and achieve (their work is their identity)
- Hierarchy - Appreciate his desire to protect and provide
- Authority - Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead (don't override or overrule him)
- Insight - Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel (don't discount his opinions)
- Relationship - Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship
- Sexuality - Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy
February 1 - SNOW DAY!!
Due to inclement weather (the predicted "paralyzing blizzard"), we had to cancel our MOPS meeting this morning. Our scheduled speaker has agreed to come back for our March 1st meeting to talk to us about Women's Health issues. We hope that you all stay warm and safe during the storm. See you in two weeks when our topic will be "Love & Respect in Marriage".
January 18: Copper: Protection: DNA of Relationships
Today's talk focused on relationships and highlighted information from one chapter of Gary Smalley's book, The DNA of Relationships. The main focus of the talk was on creating a safe environment within our relationships. We learned that there are 5 steps to safety in relationships:
1) Respect the Wall - Sometimes a person that we are in relationship with may put up a wall in order to protect him/herself and to feel safe in the relationship. You need to let the person know that you are aware of the wall and respect its presence and that you don't require him/her to break down the wall until he/she feels safe doing so.
2) Honor Others - We need to see others the way God sees them. First, think of the person you are in a relationship with as personally autographed by God. Try keeping a list of the good qualities of that person (ex: Gary Smalley keeps an "honor journal"). Finally, try playing the "bombardment" game where you choose one person and "bombard" him/her with compliments for 60 seconds!
3) Suspend Judgment - Judgment tends to close people up and shut them down; it results in people putting up walls.. Instead of judging the person you are with, try asking questions that show interest and compassion.
4) Value Differences - Realize that differences can be a blessing. How can you make the differences work for your relationship? Food for thought: you might find something another person does irritating because it highlights something about yourself that you don't like.
5) Be Trustworthy - Treat others in a way that shows you recognize their value and vulnerability. Dr. Smalley says that we need to be trustworthy with others and with our self. Yes, it's important to be treat others well, but don't forget how valuable you are!! You need to act in ways that express YOUR OWN value and vulnerability. Sometimes that may mean building a wall of protection in a relationship.
1) Respect the Wall - Sometimes a person that we are in relationship with may put up a wall in order to protect him/herself and to feel safe in the relationship. You need to let the person know that you are aware of the wall and respect its presence and that you don't require him/her to break down the wall until he/she feels safe doing so.
2) Honor Others - We need to see others the way God sees them. First, think of the person you are in a relationship with as personally autographed by God. Try keeping a list of the good qualities of that person (ex: Gary Smalley keeps an "honor journal"). Finally, try playing the "bombardment" game where you choose one person and "bombard" him/her with compliments for 60 seconds!
3) Suspend Judgment - Judgment tends to close people up and shut them down; it results in people putting up walls.. Instead of judging the person you are with, try asking questions that show interest and compassion.
4) Value Differences - Realize that differences can be a blessing. How can you make the differences work for your relationship? Food for thought: you might find something another person does irritating because it highlights something about yourself that you don't like.
5) Be Trustworthy - Treat others in a way that shows you recognize their value and vulnerability. Dr. Smalley says that we need to be trustworthy with others and with our self. Yes, it's important to be treat others well, but don't forget how valuable you are!! You need to act in ways that express YOUR OWN value and vulnerability. Sometimes that may mean building a wall of protection in a relationship.
January 4: Aluminum Foil: No Leftovers Here
As we returned from the holiday break with eating right and fresh starts on our minds, what better time to have a speaker give a cooking presentation! Susan Anderson shared with us her love of food, cooking, and making wholesome meals for her family. We had the pleasure of watching her prepare a few of her favorites recipes, which she provided as takeaways for the group. She reminded us that fresh does not necessarily mean expensive, time-intensive, complicated, or fancy. With a little bit of planning and stocking the pantry, we can make fresh, wholesome foods and still have time to spend with our families!
Aside from the great cooking tips, Susan also shared with us some of her own spiritual journey. While most people make resolutions this time of year to eat right, exercise more, or just become healthier, how many of us make resolutions regarding our spiritual health? Just as we can easily let artificial ingredients overrun our food choices, we can also fall into the easy trap of letting artificial "ingredients" overrun our spiritual life. These artificial ingredients in our food may be toxic and cancerous to our bodies; likewise, artificial spiritual "ingredients" are cancerous to our spiritual health and relationship with God.
Through Susan's commitment to read the Bible in a year, God impressed upon her some eye-opening truths.
Aside from the great cooking tips, Susan also shared with us some of her own spiritual journey. While most people make resolutions this time of year to eat right, exercise more, or just become healthier, how many of us make resolutions regarding our spiritual health? Just as we can easily let artificial ingredients overrun our food choices, we can also fall into the easy trap of letting artificial "ingredients" overrun our spiritual life. These artificial ingredients in our food may be toxic and cancerous to our bodies; likewise, artificial spiritual "ingredients" are cancerous to our spiritual health and relationship with God.
Through Susan's commitment to read the Bible in a year, God impressed upon her some eye-opening truths.
- God loves us personally and has a specific plan for our lives. If we follow His agenda, we can trust in the good plans He has for us.
- Religious myths can become theological "truths" in our lives. Make sure the object of your faith is worthy!
- There is a difference between head knowledge about God and heart knowledge about God.
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