Today, we looked at the topic of depression. Our speaker presented this topic in a very interesting way by weaving the biblical story of Hagar into her talk.
She started by sharing Hagar's story from Genesis 16. When Hagar was pregnant with Abraham's child and Sarah was abusing her, she decided to flee and ran off to the desert. After dealing with issues of grief, loss, abuse, and abandonment, Hagar had completely lost all hope. Our speaker asked us what/who are our triggers? Where are the places that cause us to feel angry and sad and abandoned?
While Hagar was in the desert, the Lord spoke to her and asked her two very powerful questions: "Where have you come from?" and "Where are you going?" When we face times of darkness and depression, we need to ask ourselves "Why are you here?". Then look at where you have come from/things in your past that may be contributing to your current state of sadness. Past issues that may amplify your triggers include abuse, medications, conflict, grief, death/loss, family history/genetics, major events in your life, and guilt.
Then we need to ask "where are you going?" The speaker urged us to find the "wilderness" that we may be in as a place of learning. There are several things we can learn while going through a period of sadness/depression:
First, we need to put things into perspective. Ask yourself, "What am I not seeing?" Sometimes, we can change our moods/feelings just by changing our thoughts or looking at things from a different perspective. When we are going through a difficult time, it may be hard to see God working in our lives and His plan for us. We can try to change our thoughts by choosing to trust God in these times and "look up" to Him and His plan for our lives. Hagar named God, "El Roi", or the God who sees, because he saw her misery and cared about her/her pain. There are 7,000 promises in the Bible so look to those to remind yourself that God loves you and has a plan for you!!
Then, we should ask ourselves, "What truth do I need to hold on to?" The speaker shared Romans 8 with us and pointed out that NOTHING (not even depression) can separate us from the love of God. She suggested an exercise to try as well: list out the truths you believe about God and hold fast to those when you are going through a difficult time or feel like God has abandoned you.
Finally, we can learn what the purpose of our depression/sadness may be ("What is the meaning in this?"). Often times, we try to find purpose/meaning in what we are going through or have gone through. The speaker shared that the purpose for many of our trials is just discovering who God is, bringing us closer to Him and helping us to become more like Him.
If you are interested in reading the end of Hagar's story, it can be found in Genesis 21:8-20
Please join us at our next MOI meeting on March 6th. We have lots of great things planned including a "how-to" demo, a craft, a talk about organization/time management, and a picnic lunch!!
This blog is dedicated to the Moms of Influence group at Northbrook Church in Richfield, WI.
Feb 7th: Forgiveness: Mommy Guilt
Today, Elizabeth Murphy shared a GREAT talk about Mom Guilt!! She started out by telling us that guilt is a legal status...We are either guilty or not guilty! Because "guilt" is a legal term, she structured her talk around things found in a trial/court room. She talked about the Facts, the Witnesses, the Jury, and the Judge.
The Facts:
There is "false guilt" and there is "real guilt".
When you think you have done something wrong, ask yourself, "Am I actually guilty (real guilt) or do I just feel guilty (false guilt)?"
Guilt does have a purpose, which is to help us learn something.
We are all gonna screw up at some point......we need to be able to learn from our mistakes and then move on from them. If we don't, we can become paralyzed by guilt.
ACTION STEP: If you feel guilty, examine the situation. Ask yourself, "What is my part in this and what am I going to do about it?" If you ARE guilty, confess and apologize.
The Witnesses:
In a trial, these are the people that comment on the facts.
As mothers, the only true witnesses are our children. They are the only ones who know how much you love them!
ACTION STEP: Interview your kids; let THEM (not other people/strangers) be the witnesses to your mothering!
The Jury:
In the court room, the jury is watching what happens but they only hear the facts that are stated out loud. They are only working with what has been presented to them.
Don't let others make you feel like a bad mom.
ACTION STEP: Make a list of who you allow to form your expectations of motherhood and WHY.
The Judge:
The only true Judge of our mothering is God! Don't give His power to judge to any one else!
He understands us because He made us and knows our past, present, and future.
YOU are the mom that God picked for your children!
ACTION STEP: Feeling guilty? Pray it out and ask for God's help!
God loves me because I am his child, not because I am someone's mother.
"The Lord looks down from heaven and sees the whole human race. From his throne he observes all who live on the earth. He made their hearts so he understands everything they do." Psalm 33:13-15
Click HERE to watch the "Reflections of Motherhood" video.
The Facts:
There is "false guilt" and there is "real guilt".
When you think you have done something wrong, ask yourself, "Am I actually guilty (real guilt) or do I just feel guilty (false guilt)?"
Guilt does have a purpose, which is to help us learn something.
We are all gonna screw up at some point......we need to be able to learn from our mistakes and then move on from them. If we don't, we can become paralyzed by guilt.
ACTION STEP: If you feel guilty, examine the situation. Ask yourself, "What is my part in this and what am I going to do about it?" If you ARE guilty, confess and apologize.
The Witnesses:
In a trial, these are the people that comment on the facts.
As mothers, the only true witnesses are our children. They are the only ones who know how much you love them!
ACTION STEP: Interview your kids; let THEM (not other people/strangers) be the witnesses to your mothering!
The Jury:
In the court room, the jury is watching what happens but they only hear the facts that are stated out loud. They are only working with what has been presented to them.
Don't let others make you feel like a bad mom.
ACTION STEP: Make a list of who you allow to form your expectations of motherhood and WHY.
The Judge:
The only true Judge of our mothering is God! Don't give His power to judge to any one else!
He understands us because He made us and knows our past, present, and future.
YOU are the mom that God picked for your children!
ACTION STEP: Feeling guilty? Pray it out and ask for God's help!
God loves me because I am his child, not because I am someone's mother.
"The Lord looks down from heaven and sees the whole human race. From his throne he observes all who live on the earth. He made their hearts so he understands everything they do." Psalm 33:13-15
Click HERE to watch the "Reflections of Motherhood" video.
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