The Greatest of These is Love

What a wonderful Christmas brunch we had this year.  We were honored to have three special guests for the morning.  Connie and Diana provided the beautiful worship music/carols and Jill Briscoe was our speaker.  You can listen to Jill's inspiring message by clicking HERE.

Beautiful worship provided by Connie and Diana

Jill Briscoe sharing a wonderful, inspiring Christmas message!

Love Rejoices in the Truth: Creation

Today's speaker was Jay Seegert from the Creation Education Center of Wisconsin.  He spoke with us about defending our faith, examining scripture, and creationism.

Jay shared that 50-75% of Christian students will set aside their faith by the time they leave college.  For many of these students it is because they have a set of belief without convictions.  We need to investigate and understand why we believe what we believe.

Then he shared some evidence in scripture to support the belief that the Bible truly is the inspired word of God....and not merely a bunch of "Just So" stories that we tell our kids in  Sunday school.
He went on to explain the difference between operational and historical science.  All scientists have the same facts/evidence.  They just have different interpretations of those facts based on their own belief systems and biases.

You can listen to Jay's talk HERE.

The Creation Education Center has many resources (books, DVDS, etc) available on their website.  If you wish to view and purchase any of these materials, you can click HERE.

You can also sign up for a free email newsletter and get information about booking Jay for a speaking engagement on the website.

Love Always Protects: Technology and Kids

Our speaker shared that his goal with this talk was to bridge the gap between parenting and technology.
3 steps to help bridge that gap are:

1. Know how our kids are involved
2. Understand the social/moral impacts
3. Understand and put into practice your role as a parent

First of all, technology is "amoral"; it is not good or evil, but is simply a medium in which we share information and stay connected.
We learned that over half of today's teens own a smart phone and that the #2 most popular activity with those phones is texting.  We also learned that social networking is the most popular online activity for teens today.  Some of those social networking sites include Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Vine, and Tumblr.

Technology can have both positive and negative social/moral impacts.  Some of the negative impacts include "cyberbullying" and teens looking for their value/purpose through social networking (the number of friends, likes, comments, etc) rather than through Jesus.
Also, more and more kids are using technology to engage in unhealthy behavior such as cheating in school, viewing pornography, and "sexting".

So, what is your role as a parent?  First of all, it starts at home with you.  Make your #1 relationship with God, check your own tech behavior,  and BE where your kids are!!  You will need to set boundaries and have access to their devices and accounts.  Teaching your kids biblical truths about purity, treating others the way you want to be treated, and other God-given truth will go a long way in bridging this gap.  Remember to utilize your resources (friends/other parents, church members, online resources, etc).  You have to set up guard rails, such as filters and website blockers, especially with young children in your home.  As your children grow and mature, your guard rails should change and ease up a bit.  Finally, you need to have a plan to deal with failure.

Our speaker shared some of his favorite online resources on the topic of parenting and technology.  Check some of them out to learn more:
    www.cpyu.com (Center for Parent and Youth Understanding)
    www.digitalkidsinitiative.com
    www.homeword.com (Culture Blog)
    www.pewinternet.org/2015/04/09/teens-social-media-technology-2015/

A great book resource is: "A Parent's Guide to Understanding Social Media" by Mark Oestreicher and Adam McLane.

If you would like to listen to Brandon's talk, please click HERE.
  (there are some technical difficulties at the beginning of the recording.....sorry!)

Love Always Perseveres: Being an Advocate for Your Child

Today, we heard a wonderful message from Raquelle Harris on how we can embrace the journey of intentionally supporting/advocating for our children.  If you missed it or would like to hear it again, please click HERE.

Elle shared a powerful Bible verse that we can pray for our children: Colossians 1:9-12

The definition of advocate is a person who pleads on someone else's behalf.
Raquelle believes that the three places we need to be comfortable advocating are:

1) HOME:

• Make one-on-one time for yourself and each of your kids.
• Regularly talk with your spouse about the attitudes, tendencies, and behaviors of your children.
• Set aside time for PRAISE.  Show your child that you are their #1 fan.
• Be interested: follow along with their lives, in and on every path.

     Remind your children that: "I will fight WITH you sometimes.....but FOR YOU always!!"

2) SCHOOL:

• Ask your child specific questions about their day that they cannot easily answer.
• Set up conferences/calls with your child's teacher and ask them difficult questions.
• Believe your children as often as motherly possible.  Build the trust relationship.

3) AMONG OUR PEERS:

• Control who and what your children are exposed to, even at the risk of others' judgement.
• Be intentional about the way you speak to anyone around your children, especially when you're talking about them and they can hear you.
• Don't be afraid to stand up for others....no matter what!

   It is important to have friends who will hold you accountable in your parenting.  And it isn't necessarily a bad thing to be convicted once in awhile, because it keeps you on track.

Raquelle finished her talk by sharing Romans 8:37, which we can view as our "call to fight"!!

If you would like to follow Raquelle, you can find her on Facebook, Twitter, & Linked In, or at her blog/website.

Raquelle has also written a beautiful children's book that you can purchase HERE.

Love is not Self-Seeking: Marriage Matters

This week, we had a panel of couples answer some tough questions about marriage.
You can hear what the panel had to say by clicking HERE.
If you are interested in learning more about Northbrook's Marriage Mentoring ministry, click HERE to send an email.

The One Who Loves their Children is Careful to Discipline Them: Positive Parenting

Moms of Influence is off to a great start.  It has been so great to see all of the changes and new faces in our group.   At our Kick Off meeting, we played a fun icebreaker, made a craft, and learned more about our theme, Relentless Love.

At our next meeting, Pat Quinn shared some wonderful parenting advice.  If you would like to hear his talk, click HERE.  The outline/notes from his presentation are below.  

Four Variables:

• Modeling - SHOW and think out loud
• Self Esteem - give descriptive praise and be interested!!!
• Risk Taking - encourage kids to try different things and allow them to quit
• Control - offering choices and letting them feel a sense of control!

Do NOT start sentences with "You" and "Why".
Instead, start sentences with "I" and "What".

Three Steps to Positive Discipline: View yourself as a "teacher", not a disciplinarian

• Step 1: Tell WHAT child is doing wrong
• Step 2: Tell child WHY it is wrong 
• Step 3: Give substitute behavior

If - Then Statements: punishment shouldn't surprise or scare  kids.  You MUST follow through on the "then" statement.

Mistakes to Avoid:

• Distance
• Audience
• Promises
• Starting too Deep
• Regression (normal part of development; don't punish, just wait)

The only two things parents should do are: Praise and Teach!!!

REGISTER NOW!!!

Registration for our 2015-2016 season is now open.
Moms of Influence is NOW for moms with kids of ALL ages!  
Please join us as we explore and learn about God's "Relentless Love".
Hope to see you at our Kick Off on September 15th!!
We will have lots of fun activities, a YUMMY brunch, and plenty of time to chat with other moms!!

  Please click HERE to register!

Be Mission Minded

Hope you are all having a wonderful summer.  Are your kids already complaining about being bored and looking for things to do?  Serving others in your community is a great summer activity!!  Need some ideas on who/how to serve?  Click HERE to listen to Pam's talk on how to become a mission minded family!

Also, check out the links below for more ideas on how and where to serve as a family:

Speaker Notes

Service Opportunities

And don't forget to check out Northbrook's IGo blog for information on upcoming events and service opportunities.

Be Ready

On May 5th, Laura Sandretti spoke about how to have age-appropriate conversations with your kids about sex.

Click HERE to listen to Laura's talk.

Be Strong

At our last meeting, Pat Quinn spoke to us about helping the strong-willed child. 
To hear Pat's talk, click HERE.

Here are some notes from Pat's outline/handout:
The outcome of almost every situation with a strong-willed person will be determined by: FEELINGS of control!
As a parent, you can help your child FEEL like he/she is in control while actually still maintaining the control. 
You can provide "limited choices" that give a feeling of control.

The 4 Rules of Power & Control:

1. Let the child FEEL control
2. Be the ADULT!
3. NO winners!
4. Pick your battles!!!!

When there is no way to put the child "in control" of the situation or choice, you should give them a substitute behavior/activity.
Say: "Here is another AWESOME opportunity where you can be in control."
Make sure that you replace their "fun" behavior with something even MORE fun!  Kids are easily distracted, but not by boring activities!

Actions that STOP cooperation include:

• Accusations
• Sarcasm (DON'T use it)
• Giving orders
• Blame
• Put-downs
• Discouraging Prophecy
• Threats & Warnings
• Lectures
• Shame & Name calling

Actions that ENCOURAGE cooperation:

• Give information
• Describe the problem
• Offer a choice
• Say it with ONE word
• Describe what you feel
• Write a note (or draw a picture)
• Use another voice or accent

 Use If-Then Statements when needed.  You want to be a teacher, not a punisher.  Once you feel that your child understands the desired behavior and yet he/she continues in the undesired behavior, you can issue an "If-Then Statement".
For example: "IF you hit your brother again, THEN you will lose your phone for 24 hours."
Make sure you follow through with the THEN!

Five Mistakes to Avoid:

• NOT giving a substitute behavior
• Distance & Audience
• Promises: don't make promises you can't keep
• Sarcasm
• Body positioning and eye level

I hope you are encouraged and inspired by Pat's ideas.  I know that I am going to try some of them with my THREE strong willed children!!

Hope to see you at the next MOI meeting on May 5th.  Our speaker will be Laura Sandretti.

Be Renewed

Our meeting last week was all about Easter (even though it was really St. Patrick's Day.... ha ha)!!

Rachel Inouye spoke to us about the true message of Easter, which is HOPE!  She had us repeat the following phrase throughout the morning:
  "I will NOT fear; instead I WILL have hope!!"

She shared that there has never been a bigger problem than a dead Savior/Jesus....
Yet even that was NO problem for our great God!
He can roll away any "stone" in our lives!!

Our world is broken.
God sent Jesus to fix/heal that brokenness.
God's grace is available to ALL....
Jesus died ONCE for ALL!
The open and empty tomb is HOPE!!!

To listen to Rachel's encouraging message of HOPE, click HERE.

Please join us at our next meeting on April 21st to learn tips on parenting challenges and how to handle a strong-willed child.

Have a VERY Happy Easter!

Be Curious

Northbrook's Senior Pastor, Mike Bellanti, took time to answer some of our questions about God/faith/religion. 

Many of the questions submitted by our group members dealt with the issue of tragedy/suffering and why God allows bad things to happen.  
Mike shared that our natural tendency is to try to make sense of our suffering and that it is okay to ask "Why?".  But, sometimes, we may never get an answer to the "Why?".
A better way to handle/process suffering is to transition to the question: "How?"
  HOW can I process this situation and walk through this?
  HOW can I glorify God in the midst of suffering?
  HOW can I use this situation/tragedy for God's glory?

Another popular question that Mike addressed was: "How do we keep God present in our children's lives?"
 He suggested that we not teach the Bible as just a "rule book", but rather, we should MODEL the living God to our kids.  We should present Christianity as awesome and LIFE-giving....not boring and full of rules. 
  Also, we should keep the "BIG story" of God alive for our kids.  We can teach them about God's plan/his story, teach them about sin and holiness, and read the bible and pray with them.

Be Resilient

Elizabeth Murphy presented a talk entitled "How to Float Your Boat - Living a Life of Resilience".  If you weren't  able to join us or would like to hear this talk again, click HERE.
Here are some notes from her hand out as well:

1)  What is Resilience?
    Being resilient means springing back/rebounding
    Resiliency takes practice!
    We have goals, but God has a PLAN!!
    We will NEVER fail in God's eyes!

2) The Resilient Woman:

• has a godly perspective
• has a relationship with Christ
• lives in the "CAN"
• is a grateful woman; find SOMETHING to be grateful for
• is a mindful woman; fill your mind with God's word
• is a careful woman; be careful who you listen to

3) The Resilient Wife:

• has realistic expectations about her husband
• reframes failures into lessons learned
• keeps the small things small and manages her emotions
• accepts the differences of her husband and realizes she can't change them
• remembers what is GOOD!

 4) The Resilient Friend:

• learns to say "No" 
• takes inventory of relationships; replenishing vs. depleting friends
• knows each other's stories

5) The Resilient Mom:

• depends on a SUPER God
• doesn't parent out of fear/worry
• trusts her intuition and sets healthy boundaries
• parents her OWN children (don't compare/contrast)
• knows when "tough love" matters and knows the value of tenderness
• reaches out to other moms
• raises resilient kids!

Some ways to "Build Up Your Boat"

1. Hang around with other "boats"
2. Heighten your skills (read about parenting/study your children)
3. Help - Ask questions of other/older moms
4. Hire what you can/Barter for the rest
5. Huff and Puff (take care of yourself!)
6. Honest look:  Children have Present Value NOT just Future Potential
7. Hope in the Capable Captain (Mark 4:35-41)

 We also worked on a service project during our small group time.  We were able to tie and stuff 50 pillows for patients in the Cardiac ICU at Children's Hospital.  These will be delivered during CHD Awareness Week (February 7-14).  Thank you so much for your help on this special project!!!