In the midst of the hustle and bustle of holiday preparations, it was so nice to take some time out to relax and celebrate Christmas with our fellow MOPS moms. We heard some wonderful truths from our speaker, made a fun ornament craft, and played a Christmas "Four Corners" game to get us chatting with others and in the mood for the Christmas season!! Our speaker today spoke on the topic of blessings and the true meaning of Christmas.
She started by sharing some fun statistics about how we (as a nation) spend our money and just how long those Christmas gifts will last....setting up the idea that our "things" are not eternal or of much worth. Then, she went on to tell us that our word Christmas comes from two Latin words meaning "Christ" and "mass". Also, "Noel" is French for good news.
She shared that the hidden treasures of God are everywhere. Our job is to mine, search, and hunt for the things of God in our lives and our children. We need to hold onto those little "gold flecks", such as an "I love you" from our kids, an extra long nap, sharing time together, etc.
Gold has beauty, it sparkles, and it has unique properties (most pliable/pure metal, doesn't decay or corrode). It also symbolizes wealth and honor. But still, it is only physical material and won't last forever.
However, there is something more special/valuable than gold and it WILL last forever. That is our faith in Jesus. "Trust" in God is the action word for faith and it can give meaning to every aspect of our lives.
One great practical idea was to picture yourself sitting on God's lap asking for faith, the help to trust him, and for him to open your eyes. Our speaker suggested that we need to have faith like a child because a child simply believes without having to understand how everything works. God has a way of making himself known to us.
Finally, she shared 2 Corinthians 9 with us. She pointed out that God gave you resources/talents/things to share. Whenever you use what he's given you, he will make something happen. So, we are to be generous with what we have and find opportunities to share our faith, help others, etc. We should pour out what God's given to us on others so that they might see God. Be generous with your time, talents, and resources this Christmas season.
Have a very blessed Christmas and we will see you again on the first Tuesday in January (2011!!!!)
This blog is dedicated to the Moms of Influence group at Northbrook Church in Richfield, WI.
Julie Barnhill: She's Gonna Blow, Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger
Instead of the usual speaker, we did something a little out of the ordinary at our most recent MOPS meeting. We enjoyed a one-hour video featuring Julie Barnhill, author of She's Gonna Blow! Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger.
Julie offered humor and touched on practical strategies for coping with the anger that sometimes surfaces when dealing with our children. She reminded all of us that we are not alone as moms and as moms dealing with anger.
Based primarily on her own struggles, failures and successes in dealing with her children and her anger, Julie shared the lessons she has learned in raising her kids. In the video, she described various types of anger eruptions, comparing them to different types of volcanoes. She used her anecdotes to remind moms that we all struggle and deal with anger differently, but we need to keep ourselves in check and find healthier ways of expressing anger. Anger is a natural human emotion, but if left unchecked, it can damage or even destroy the spirit of our children. If as moms we are to be a role model and example of God's love and grace to our children, we must be more positive and realize we cannot do everything ourselves, no matter how good we are at multitasking!
Julie challenged moms to let go of those control issues, draw closer to God, and to remember our children really are a blessing.
Julie offered humor and touched on practical strategies for coping with the anger that sometimes surfaces when dealing with our children. She reminded all of us that we are not alone as moms and as moms dealing with anger.
Based primarily on her own struggles, failures and successes in dealing with her children and her anger, Julie shared the lessons she has learned in raising her kids. In the video, she described various types of anger eruptions, comparing them to different types of volcanoes. She used her anecdotes to remind moms that we all struggle and deal with anger differently, but we need to keep ourselves in check and find healthier ways of expressing anger. Anger is a natural human emotion, but if left unchecked, it can damage or even destroy the spirit of our children. If as moms we are to be a role model and example of God's love and grace to our children, we must be more positive and realize we cannot do everything ourselves, no matter how good we are at multitasking!
Julie challenged moms to let go of those control issues, draw closer to God, and to remember our children really are a blessing.
November 2: Helium: The Lighter Side of Parenting
Today, our speaker shared three very important thoughts about/for moms.
1. You are valuable:
Eric kept referring to Psalm 127:3, which states, "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him."
He made the point that God trusts you and values you enough to give you the gift of your children.
He made the point that God trusts you and values you enough to give you the gift of your children.
He said that if you were to add up the monetary value of all you do as a mom (housekeeper, nanny, driver, laundry, dishwasher, events coordinator, etc, etc), you would make $125,900 a year!!
However, as a mom, we are most often paid with the kisses, hugs, and affection we get from our children.
2. You are treasured:
Eric showed us a bunch of the "treasures" he has received from his children, including handmade crafts, little notes/cards, drawings, etc. These are the things that should be held onto and treasured.
He shared that a study found that teenagers admit that parents are still the biggest influence in their life. So, we are treasured and valued by our children.
3. Treasure your role as a mom and the time you have with your children:
Eric's wife, Michelle, shared a devotional about being a busy, stressed out mom. This devotional compared the daily tasks of motherhood to stringing beads. You spend time stringing the beads only to have them all "fall off" again at the end of the day.
She told us that at times we should take a break from the cleaning and chores to spend some one-on-one time with our kids (coloring, playing, being silly, just enjoying our time together).
We need to seek out God's plan and agenda for our children and families. Hear God say, "by serving these little ones, you are serving me".
Try not to get so wrapped up in the "stuff" that you forget what's really important.
Finally, find ways to let God impact your life and your family. One practical tip that Michelle shared was this: When she is ironing, instead of grumbling and complaining about doing a task she hates, she chooses to ask God to bless the person whose clothes she is ironing. What an interesting and different perspective!
Remember, that you are TREASURED and VALUABLE!!!! Take some time today to enjoy your little ones....we all know they grow up too fast!!
October 19: Foundations of the Universe: Teaching Kids the Bible
Today, Elizabeth Murphy shared an amazing talk on "Teaching Your Kids the Bible". Here are some of the highlights of her talk:
1. Teach Yourself - establish the routine of a personal time with God (in his word and in prayer). Find a time that works for you and your schedule. Children will model what you do!
2. Teach the Truth - when a child asks a question, it's okay to say, "I don't know" or "Will you look it up with me?". Scripture is the source of answers! Also, teach children that they are accountable to God, not just mom/dad.
3. Teach with Stories - you can teach biblical principles through books and stories. You can find big principles and broad applications in books/stories. Some recommended books include: Read Aloud Bible Stories by Ella K. Lindvall, Big Thoughts for Little People by Kenneth N Taylor, The Runaway Bunny, Even If I Did Something Awful by Barbara Shook Hazen, and If Jesus Came to My House by Joan Gale Thomas
4. Teach with Tools - hymns, object lessons, devotional books, etc
5. Teach big picture
6. Teach prayer - you can teach kids to pray using this model:
A - Adoration ("I Love You" prayers)
C - Confession (I'm Sorry" prayers)
T - Thanksgiving ("Thank You" prayers)
S - Supplication ("Please" prayers)
7. Keep on Teaching - Don't ever stop teaching!
1. Teach Yourself - establish the routine of a personal time with God (in his word and in prayer). Find a time that works for you and your schedule. Children will model what you do!
2. Teach the Truth - when a child asks a question, it's okay to say, "I don't know" or "Will you look it up with me?". Scripture is the source of answers! Also, teach children that they are accountable to God, not just mom/dad.
3. Teach with Stories - you can teach biblical principles through books and stories. You can find big principles and broad applications in books/stories. Some recommended books include: Read Aloud Bible Stories by Ella K. Lindvall, Big Thoughts for Little People by Kenneth N Taylor, The Runaway Bunny, Even If I Did Something Awful by Barbara Shook Hazen, and If Jesus Came to My House by Joan Gale Thomas
4. Teach with Tools - hymns, object lessons, devotional books, etc
5. Teach big picture
6. Teach prayer - you can teach kids to pray using this model:
A - Adoration ("I Love You" prayers)
C - Confession (I'm Sorry" prayers)
T - Thanksgiving ("Thank You" prayers)
S - Supplication ("Please" prayers)
7. Keep on Teaching - Don't ever stop teaching!
October 5: Need to Grow: Healthy Eating
Today, we learned SOOO much about nutrition and healthy eating (for us and our kids). Our speaker taught us some wonderful tips about making food fun for picky eaters, involving our children in meal preparations, reading labels, and rules for healthy eating.
Some ways to make food fun for picky eaters include naming a food your child helps create (such as "Dawn's Salad" or "Peter's Sweet Potatoes), cutting a food into fun and easy shapes with cookie cutters, encouraging your child to invent and help prepare new snacks or sandwiches, and jazzing up the taste of veggies with low-fat dressings or dips.
Some "label traps" to watch out for:
"Reduced Fat" = more sugar and same/more calories than full-fat equivalent
"Lite" = only 1/3 fewer calories than regular
"Good Source" = 10% of RDA for that specific vitamin or mineral
"High in Antioxidants" = only needs to have 10% of RDA for vitamins A,C,E or selenium
"Trans-Fat Free" = can have up to 1/2 gram of trans-fat. If partially hydrogenated oil is listed on ingredients, there is some trans fat in the product.
Some other great tips included: let kids help (buying food at the store, preparing the meal, setting the table), turn off the TV and eat with family whenever possible, limit juice to 4-6 oz per day, make it easy for kids to make healthy choices by having them available in the house, and BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL!!!
Julie's 6 rules for healthy eating:
1. if you can't pronounce the ingredients, pass it up!
2. Apple pie is NOT a fruit
3. DON'T be a member of the "clean plate club"; stop eating when full
4. a moderate diet is a healthy diet
5. choose WHOLE foods
6. eat at least 3 meals a day and plan ahead
For more nutrition information, visit the following recommended websites:
www.mypyramid.gov
www.eatright.org/public
www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov
www.healthierus.gov
www.nutrition.gov
www.womenshealth.gov
www.foodallergy.org
Some ways to make food fun for picky eaters include naming a food your child helps create (such as "Dawn's Salad" or "Peter's Sweet Potatoes), cutting a food into fun and easy shapes with cookie cutters, encouraging your child to invent and help prepare new snacks or sandwiches, and jazzing up the taste of veggies with low-fat dressings or dips.
Some "label traps" to watch out for:
"Reduced Fat" = more sugar and same/more calories than full-fat equivalent
"Lite" = only 1/3 fewer calories than regular
"Good Source" = 10% of RDA for that specific vitamin or mineral
"High in Antioxidants" = only needs to have 10% of RDA for vitamins A,C,E or selenium
"Trans-Fat Free" = can have up to 1/2 gram of trans-fat. If partially hydrogenated oil is listed on ingredients, there is some trans fat in the product.
Some other great tips included: let kids help (buying food at the store, preparing the meal, setting the table), turn off the TV and eat with family whenever possible, limit juice to 4-6 oz per day, make it easy for kids to make healthy choices by having them available in the house, and BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL!!!
Julie's 6 rules for healthy eating:
1. if you can't pronounce the ingredients, pass it up!
2. Apple pie is NOT a fruit
3. DON'T be a member of the "clean plate club"; stop eating when full
4. a moderate diet is a healthy diet
5. choose WHOLE foods
6. eat at least 3 meals a day and plan ahead
For more nutrition information, visit the following recommended websites:
www.mypyramid.gov
www.eatright.org/public
www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov
www.healthierus.gov
www.nutrition.gov
www.womenshealth.gov
www.foodallergy.org
Kick-Off
After a 4 month break, it was so nice to see all of you again! We had a wonderful morning together for our 2010-2011 MOPS kick-off. The morning began with a funny skit, put on by members of the steering team, which introduced the MOMology theme. As we enjoyed a nice breakfast, served right at our tables, there were some brief announcements and introductions. Then, the co-coordinators of our group lead us in an exploration of "Boredom Busters". They shared a "recipe" for home-made bubbles and then we all got a chance to make our own "ice cream in a bag". Following a brief talk about motherhood and the impact/importance of MOPS, we were dismissed to our small group time, where we got a chance to meet our new Discussion Group Leaders, Mentors, and the fellow moms in our group. Join us again on October 5th, when we will make a fabulous craft and hear about healthy eating! Oh, and join us for a picnic lunch following our morning's program! See you there!
2010 - 2011 MOPS
In 2010, MOPS invites you to join in the learning process as together we explore Momology: The Art and Science of Mothering.
Mothering is both art and science. It combines all of who we are to shape healthy, resilient kids. Mothering is so complex it requires both sides of our brain - not to mention our hands and feet, eyes and ears, mouth and (sniff, sniff) unfortunately, sometimes even our noses!
There's the scientific side of mothering where we develop a hypothesis based on certain principles, test that hypothesis in real-time, consider the results and decide what parts worked and what parts didn't. We keep refining our hypotheses until we find what works for us.
Intertwined with the scientific, mothering requires an artistry that shades with our personality, colors with our unique gifts, and blends past and current experiences.
Northbrook MOPS is so excited to kick-off our theme on Tuesday, September 21st @ 9:15 am. To see this year's speaker schedule, click on this link (2010-2011 Speaker Schedule). If you are interested in joining our group, you can download a registration form by clicking on this link (Registration Form). You can also register at the "door". Hope to see you at MOPS this year!!
Summer 2010 Park Dates
Our 2009-2010 season may have come to an end....but you can still hang out with all of your MOPS friends at our Summer Park Dates. Hope to see you there!
We will meet at 9:30 am for all dates (unless otherwise noted). There are NO RAIN DATES!!
June 1st: Alt Bauer Park-W165N10749 Wagon Trail, Germantown
June 15th: Milwaukee County Zoo - Meet at Penguin Exhibit
July 6th: Firemen's Park - W112 N11900 Park Avenue, Germantown
July 20th: Firemen's Annex Beach - 645 Baehring Drive, Slinger
Meet at Playground at 10 AM; Beach opens at 11 AM
Cost: $2 for Village Residents; $4 for Non-Residents (3 & Under - Free)
August 3rd: Willowbrook Park - 774 E Sumner Street, Hartford
August 17th: MEET MOPS (2 locations)
We will meet at 9:30 am for all dates (unless otherwise noted). There are NO RAIN DATES!!
June 1st: Alt Bauer Park-W165N10749 Wagon Trail, Germantown
June 15th: Milwaukee County Zoo - Meet at Penguin Exhibit
July 6th: Firemen's Park - W112 N11900 Park Avenue, Germantown
July 20th: Firemen's Annex Beach - 645 Baehring Drive, Slinger
Meet at Playground at 10 AM; Beach opens at 11 AM
Cost: $2 for Village Residents; $4 for Non-Residents (3 & Under - Free)
August 3rd: Willowbrook Park - 774 E Sumner Street, Hartford
August 17th: MEET MOPS (2 locations)
Hickory Lane Park - N165 W20290 Hickory Lane, Jackson
Kinderberg Park - N104 W14942 Donges Bay Road, Germantown
Both of these parks have Splash Park areas so you may want to bring swimsuits/change of clothes!!
Kinderberg Park - N104 W14942 Donges Bay Road, Germantown
Both of these parks have Splash Park areas so you may want to bring swimsuits/change of clothes!!
MOMology: The Art and Science of Mothering
We are very excited to announce next year's theme for MOPS.....MOMology: The Art and Science of Mothering.
Please join us again in September for a fun, exciting year filled with new speakers, crafts, play dates, and much more!
If you would like more information or a registration form, please contact Vikie VanDerLinden at Northbrook Church (see contact info at bottom of page).
Hope to see you in September!
Please join us again in September for a fun, exciting year filled with new speakers, crafts, play dates, and much more!
If you would like more information or a registration form, please contact Vikie VanDerLinden at Northbrook Church (see contact info at bottom of page).
Hope to see you in September!
May 18th - A Galaxy of Good Ideas
Hard to believe that today was our last meeting for the 2009-2010 MOPS season! Looking back over the year, we have made some great memories, new friends, awesome crafts and we have also learned many important lessons from all of our speakers!
Today's speaker shared ideas of what to do with our kids for the summer months! And she had a TON of great suggestions! Some ideas included local library programs, kids movies at local theaters, outdoor fun (bird watching, bug collecting, gardening), craft projects, and outdoor games (tag, scavenger hunts, kick the can,etc)
Some "local" mom-approved outings include the Milwaukee Public and Art museums, the Domes, Honey Acres, Jelly Belly Factory tour, Pike Lake, Slinger "beach", Regner park, Possibility Playground, Hartford Balloon Rally, Breakfast on the Farm, and the list goes on and on!
Check out some of these websites for more fun, summer ideas:
kidsbowlfree.com, keymilwaukee.com, marcustheatres.com, factorytourusa.com, milwaukeezoo.com, parents.com
Be creative and enjoy the many opportunities to make some special memories with your children this summer!
Don't forget about the MOPS Park Dates this summer....these are a great way to stay in touch with all of the friends you have made over this past year! Hope to see you (and your kiddos) there!
Today's speaker shared ideas of what to do with our kids for the summer months! And she had a TON of great suggestions! Some ideas included local library programs, kids movies at local theaters, outdoor fun (bird watching, bug collecting, gardening), craft projects, and outdoor games (tag, scavenger hunts, kick the can,etc)
Some "local" mom-approved outings include the Milwaukee Public and Art museums, the Domes, Honey Acres, Jelly Belly Factory tour, Pike Lake, Slinger "beach", Regner park, Possibility Playground, Hartford Balloon Rally, Breakfast on the Farm, and the list goes on and on!
Check out some of these websites for more fun, summer ideas:
kidsbowlfree.com, keymilwaukee.com, marcustheatres.com, factorytourusa.com, milwaukeezoo.com, parents.com
Be creative and enjoy the many opportunities to make some special memories with your children this summer!
Don't forget about the MOPS Park Dates this summer....these are a great way to stay in touch with all of the friends you have made over this past year! Hope to see you (and your kiddos) there!
March 16th - Easter Brunch: Grace and Forgiveness
We had a great time together this morning preparing for and celebrating the Easter season! We started our morning with a reading of the children's book, "Parable of the Lily". For our craft project, we decorated terra cotta flower pots using paint, ribbons, buttons, etc and all got to take home a lily bulb to plant in our yards this spring!
Our speaker shared a wonderful message about God's grace and forgiveness! She defined grace as "freely given, unmerited favor and love of God" and forgiveness as "the act of forgiving; ceasing to feel resentment towards an offender; pardon". She shared that we all have the same need: to be forgiven and receive grace. She went on to share her very personal story of pain, grief, and ultimately grace! She shared with us that God wants to walk with us, promises to never leave or forsake us, and wants to redeem our stories too! If we are struggling with forgiving others in our lives, we need to take the next step and ask God to help us forgive and give grace to our offender(s). She reminded us that no one is more worthy of God's grace/forgiveness than anyone else. We have ALL sinned and need forgiveness/grace! God loves everyone, even your "offender", and longs for relationship with all people.
Finally, she shared that grace is FREE to US, but not to Him - it cost Christ his life! By God's grace we have been forgiven and by His grace we can forgive!!
Have a joyous, Happy Easter! See you on Tuesday, April 20th!!!
Our speaker shared a wonderful message about God's grace and forgiveness! She defined grace as "freely given, unmerited favor and love of God" and forgiveness as "the act of forgiving; ceasing to feel resentment towards an offender; pardon". She shared that we all have the same need: to be forgiven and receive grace. She went on to share her very personal story of pain, grief, and ultimately grace! She shared with us that God wants to walk with us, promises to never leave or forsake us, and wants to redeem our stories too! If we are struggling with forgiving others in our lives, we need to take the next step and ask God to help us forgive and give grace to our offender(s). She reminded us that no one is more worthy of God's grace/forgiveness than anyone else. We have ALL sinned and need forgiveness/grace! God loves everyone, even your "offender", and longs for relationship with all people.
Finally, she shared that grace is FREE to US, but not to Him - it cost Christ his life! By God's grace we have been forgiven and by His grace we can forgive!!
Have a joyous, Happy Easter! See you on Tuesday, April 20th!!!
March 2nd - Launch Pad: Leadership for Life/MOPS Tea
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house." Matthew 5:13-16
The theme for this year's tea was "The Domino Effect" and we focused on how we as Christian mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, friends, and community members can positively affect others around us. Our two speakers for the morning were husbands of Northbrook MOPS members and they shared with our group how MOPS has impacted their wives, marriages, children, families, etc. We also watched a brief video of our children sharing what MOPS means to them and their favorite part about coming to MOPS. So cute! We heard an inspirational "reading" about how the little things we do everyday mean a LOT to our children.
We ended our time together with the "Cardboard Stories" of our steering team. The members of the steering team got "real" with us and shared how God has worked and is working in their lives. It was a moving and powerful experience for all in the room!
The theme for this year's tea was "The Domino Effect" and we focused on how we as Christian mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, friends, and community members can positively affect others around us. Our two speakers for the morning were husbands of Northbrook MOPS members and they shared with our group how MOPS has impacted their wives, marriages, children, families, etc. We also watched a brief video of our children sharing what MOPS means to them and their favorite part about coming to MOPS. So cute! We heard an inspirational "reading" about how the little things we do everyday mean a LOT to our children.
We ended our time together with the "Cardboard Stories" of our steering team. The members of the steering team got "real" with us and shared how God has worked and is working in their lives. It was a moving and powerful experience for all in the room!
February 16 - Satellite; Earth to Somewhere: Communication in Marriage
We started the morning making no-sew fleece blankets for Joy House. As a group, we were able to donate about 14 large and 14 small/cuddle blankets for the adults and children at Joy House. Thank you all for your creativity and hard work....the blankets looked great and will be a blessing to the residents!!!
Our speaker, Elizabeth Murphy, shared on the topic of Communication in Marriage, focusing on "Reading the Signals". The signals she talked about included silent, stolen, small, steady, stretched, and spiritual.
Silent Signals - our body language, tone, and attitude towards our family can say so much more than words. So, we need to figure out what triggers our moods/anger/silent signals and watch out for those triggers. Also, we need to be honest with our spouse and family about when we are feeling the pressure and stress building up, causing us to communicate with these silent signals.
Stolen Signals - So often we try to do what we see other people doing. We read a book, watch a video, or attend a marriage seminar and try to apply the material to our marriage without "personalizing" it. This won't work since we are all in different situations and can't compare our marriages to others. Elizabeth advised us not to compare and to ask God how he would have us use the stolen signals/tools (books, seminars, etc) given to us.
Small Signals - the little things that mean something to our spouse such as putting the laundry down the chute or making the bed. These things say "I can do this for you because I love you". If there is something you would like your spouse to do for you, explain why it is important to you and how it makes you feel when it is or isn't done.
Steady Signals - the day to day "rituals" in our relationships, such as making coffee or bringing in the paper every morning, regular date nights, etc. These are things you can count on and they set a good foundation/environment for communication.
Stretched Signals - These are the signals we send out when we are stressed out or under pressure. If you build a good foundation before you find yourself stretched, you will have a good pattern for communication in your relationship.
Spiritual Signals - Pray for each other! This will keep you "knit together" even when you are apart. One good question to ask your spouse is "What can I pray for you?" Elizabeth also suggested sitting down with each other, sharing prayer requests, and then praying together!
Elizabeth's Suggested Book List:
"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman
"Now You're Speaking My Language" by Gary Chapman
"The Man Whisperer" by Rick Johnson
"Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti" by Bill and Pam Farrell
Our speaker, Elizabeth Murphy, shared on the topic of Communication in Marriage, focusing on "Reading the Signals". The signals she talked about included silent, stolen, small, steady, stretched, and spiritual.
Silent Signals - our body language, tone, and attitude towards our family can say so much more than words. So, we need to figure out what triggers our moods/anger/silent signals and watch out for those triggers. Also, we need to be honest with our spouse and family about when we are feeling the pressure and stress building up, causing us to communicate with these silent signals.
Stolen Signals - So often we try to do what we see other people doing. We read a book, watch a video, or attend a marriage seminar and try to apply the material to our marriage without "personalizing" it. This won't work since we are all in different situations and can't compare our marriages to others. Elizabeth advised us not to compare and to ask God how he would have us use the stolen signals/tools (books, seminars, etc) given to us.
Small Signals - the little things that mean something to our spouse such as putting the laundry down the chute or making the bed. These things say "I can do this for you because I love you". If there is something you would like your spouse to do for you, explain why it is important to you and how it makes you feel when it is or isn't done.
Steady Signals - the day to day "rituals" in our relationships, such as making coffee or bringing in the paper every morning, regular date nights, etc. These are things you can count on and they set a good foundation/environment for communication.
Stretched Signals - These are the signals we send out when we are stressed out or under pressure. If you build a good foundation before you find yourself stretched, you will have a good pattern for communication in your relationship.
Spiritual Signals - Pray for each other! This will keep you "knit together" even when you are apart. One good question to ask your spouse is "What can I pray for you?" Elizabeth also suggested sitting down with each other, sharing prayer requests, and then praying together!
Elizabeth's Suggested Book List:
"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman
"Now You're Speaking My Language" by Gary Chapman
"The Man Whisperer" by Rick Johnson
"Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti" by Bill and Pam Farrell
February 2 - Houston, We Have a Problem: Sex in Marriage
With Valentine's Day right around the corner, today's meeting focused on love and intimacy. Erin started the morning out with a fun game, where each group had to craft a "love letter" using the sayings on candy hearts. Congratulations to the Moonwalker Moms for their cute and funny rap!! Lots of creativity and laughter in the fellowship hall this morning!!!!
Today's speaker presented the topics of desire and intimacy in marriage. A few of the key points made included problems with desire in marriage, desire discrepancy, and emotional/physical intimacy in marriage.
Some of the problems with desire that we face in marriage can come from family history, personal/sexual history, and marital history ( past problems that we have faced in our marriage). She also spoke about desiring God, who is our true soul mate. We need to put God first in our lives because He loves us unconditionally, knows us fully and loves us anyway, and will give us the desires of our heart.
According to our speaker, the three stages of marriage are: romantic (early/newlywed stage), power struggle (which can last for many years), and then reality (which is the beginning of REAL love and acceptance). Part of the problem with desire in the later stages of marriage is that we expect chemistry and commitment to exist at the same time, when they are actually in opposition to each other! Yes, you can have both, but it takes INTENTIONAL WORK!!! Don't believe that you don't love someone simply because you no longer feel the same desire you once had for them.
She then went on to speak about emotional and physical intimacy. Men and women are quite different when it comes to emotional intimacy. Men are motivated for independence while women are motivated for intimacy. Clearly, this can cause some problems in a relationship.
One of the issues with physical intimacy can come when a couple faces a "desire discrepancy", meaning one spouse has a high level of desire, while the other has a low level. This is common in most marriages, with the man being the high desire spouse about 2/3 of the time. Our speaker emphasized that an accurate pattern in later stages of marriage looks like this:
Arousal --- Desire---Intimacy.
So if we wait around for the desire to come, we may be waiting a LONG time!!!
In order to have a healthy sex life in marriage, we need to have open communication and compromise. The goal should be oneness and intimacy and we should expect to have to WORK at it!! Kathy's final recommendations for us included "don't wait one more day, put husband and marriage first, deepen your friendship, decide that a loving, satisfying sexual relationship is important, and take care of yourself."
If you are interested in learning more about this morning's speaker and her marriage classes, please visit her website at iwanttostaymarriedbuthow.com and/or blog at iwanttostaymarriedbuthow.blogspot.com
Today's speaker presented the topics of desire and intimacy in marriage. A few of the key points made included problems with desire in marriage, desire discrepancy, and emotional/physical intimacy in marriage.
Some of the problems with desire that we face in marriage can come from family history, personal/sexual history, and marital history ( past problems that we have faced in our marriage). She also spoke about desiring God, who is our true soul mate. We need to put God first in our lives because He loves us unconditionally, knows us fully and loves us anyway, and will give us the desires of our heart.
According to our speaker, the three stages of marriage are: romantic (early/newlywed stage), power struggle (which can last for many years), and then reality (which is the beginning of REAL love and acceptance). Part of the problem with desire in the later stages of marriage is that we expect chemistry and commitment to exist at the same time, when they are actually in opposition to each other! Yes, you can have both, but it takes INTENTIONAL WORK!!! Don't believe that you don't love someone simply because you no longer feel the same desire you once had for them.
She then went on to speak about emotional and physical intimacy. Men and women are quite different when it comes to emotional intimacy. Men are motivated for independence while women are motivated for intimacy. Clearly, this can cause some problems in a relationship.
One of the issues with physical intimacy can come when a couple faces a "desire discrepancy", meaning one spouse has a high level of desire, while the other has a low level. This is common in most marriages, with the man being the high desire spouse about 2/3 of the time. Our speaker emphasized that an accurate pattern in later stages of marriage looks like this:
Arousal --- Desire---Intimacy.
So if we wait around for the desire to come, we may be waiting a LONG time!!!
In order to have a healthy sex life in marriage, we need to have open communication and compromise. The goal should be oneness and intimacy and we should expect to have to WORK at it!! Kathy's final recommendations for us included "don't wait one more day, put husband and marriage first, deepen your friendship, decide that a loving, satisfying sexual relationship is important, and take care of yourself."
If you are interested in learning more about this morning's speaker and her marriage classes, please visit her website at iwanttostaymarriedbuthow.com and/or blog at iwanttostaymarriedbuthow.blogspot.com
January 19: Out of the World: Lap Reading with Preschoolers
We had another great morning together at MOPS! For those of you that couldn't join us, there are a couple of important announcements to share. First of all, we talked a little about the devastating earthquake in Haiti and what we could do to help. If you are interested in learning more about the situation in Haiti or would like to make a monetary donation, please visit the following websites: www.worldrelief.org or www.samaritanspurse.org
Also, we are trying to set up meals for a fellow mom who is pregnant and on bed rest. If you are interested in preparing a meal, please contact April or Erin. Let's show this mom how much we care and what MOPS is really all about during her time of need!
Today's speaker, Rhonda, shared some great advice on reading to our children. She spoke about the reasons for reading to our children, the "when, where, what, and how" of reading to our children, and gave helpful tips on choosing books/reading aloud to different age groups.
Research shows that there is a positive correlation between reading to children and their reading achievement. Reading aloud to children fosters early reading and language development, is the single most important activity for building knowledge, and is a practice that should continue throughout the grades (even once the child can read on his/her own). Also, reading aloud to young children sends pleasure messages to the brain signaling that reading is a good/positive thing.
When should we read to our children? NOW! Start right from the cradle. Also, it is never too late to begin reading to your children.
Where? Use your imagination: you could read outside under a shady tree, in the sandbox, at the park, even at bath time or meal time! You can toss a sheet over the table to create a reading hideaway, take books in the car for a long road trip, or spread a blanket on the floor for an indoor "reading picnic". Be Creative!
What? Whatever is at hand: books, magazines, road signs, cereal boxes, menus, billboards, etc.
Read Mother Goose rhymes, poetry, books with pictures that are colorful and simple. And sometimes, read books that are a bit beyond your child's reach or a little more advanced!
How? Read slowly and with expression....now is the time to really be silly and ham it up for your kids. You should allow your child to help handle the book (hold it, turn the pages, etc). Also, talk about the story, model how you think about the story ("I wonder what's going to happen here?" or "I think this part is silly because...."), ask your child questions and take the time to answer his/her questions about the story, follow your child's lead in talking about the book, and have a conversation about the story.
If you are interested in tips on choosing books/reading aloud to your children or would like a suggested book list for young readers, please let us know at the next meeting and we will get you a copy of today's handouts.
Also, we are trying to set up meals for a fellow mom who is pregnant and on bed rest. If you are interested in preparing a meal, please contact April or Erin. Let's show this mom how much we care and what MOPS is really all about during her time of need!
Today's speaker, Rhonda, shared some great advice on reading to our children. She spoke about the reasons for reading to our children, the "when, where, what, and how" of reading to our children, and gave helpful tips on choosing books/reading aloud to different age groups.
Research shows that there is a positive correlation between reading to children and their reading achievement. Reading aloud to children fosters early reading and language development, is the single most important activity for building knowledge, and is a practice that should continue throughout the grades (even once the child can read on his/her own). Also, reading aloud to young children sends pleasure messages to the brain signaling that reading is a good/positive thing.
When should we read to our children? NOW! Start right from the cradle. Also, it is never too late to begin reading to your children.
Where? Use your imagination: you could read outside under a shady tree, in the sandbox, at the park, even at bath time or meal time! You can toss a sheet over the table to create a reading hideaway, take books in the car for a long road trip, or spread a blanket on the floor for an indoor "reading picnic". Be Creative!
What? Whatever is at hand: books, magazines, road signs, cereal boxes, menus, billboards, etc.
Read Mother Goose rhymes, poetry, books with pictures that are colorful and simple. And sometimes, read books that are a bit beyond your child's reach or a little more advanced!
How? Read slowly and with expression....now is the time to really be silly and ham it up for your kids. You should allow your child to help handle the book (hold it, turn the pages, etc). Also, talk about the story, model how you think about the story ("I wonder what's going to happen here?" or "I think this part is silly because...."), ask your child questions and take the time to answer his/her questions about the story, follow your child's lead in talking about the book, and have a conversation about the story.
If you are interested in tips on choosing books/reading aloud to your children or would like a suggested book list for young readers, please let us know at the next meeting and we will get you a copy of today's handouts.
January 5 - Eclipse: Dealing with the Loss of a Child or Other
After an extended "break" for the holidays, it was really nice to meet with all of our fellow moms again this Tuesday!! Instead of a speaker today, we watched a DVD of a presentation that had been given at Spring Creek Church. Vikie introduced the video and mentioned that it was the first time that she could recall that we didn't have a "live" speaker for a Tuesday morning meeting.
The DVD shared the story of Matt and Ginny Mooney - a young couple from Arkansas that had experienced the death of their first child when he was only 99 days old. The presentation started with a "video diary" entitled 99 balloons. If you are interested in viewing this, you can find it on You Tube. Shortly before the birth of their son, the Mooney's were told that he had a disease called Trisomy 18. He was born with an underdeveloped lung, a hole in his heart, and a very short life expectancy. Matt Mooney shared some thoughts on loss and grief.
He used the concept of a painting to explain the grieving process. As paintings are all similar in that they use paint, brushes and canvas, each one is also very unique. In the same way, there are commonalities of grief that we all know, but grief is very unique in circumstances, type of loss, etc. Some of the "brushstrokes" of the grieving process that he shared, included learning that "we are NOT in control; God is", frustration w/fellow Christians, the "craziness" of grief, the support of friends and fellow believers, and that God can use terrible circumstances for good.
He talked about how he had to turn to God, take his questions directly to God, and even wrestle with God, at times. And although he was looking for answers and clarity from God, he didn't get them. He said, "I wanted answers; God wanted INTIMACY. I KNOW God better, but understand him far less." He also talked about how some believers have the attitude that we should not grieve, because we believe in heaven. He shared the story of Lazarus' death in John 11 and talked about how "Jesus wept" even though he knew that death wasn't the end. This helps us learn that our hope DOES NOT negate our grief.
Ginny also spoke about how her grief/loss was greater than expected and that she had to cling to God's word and the support of friends/fellow believers. They didn't need reassuring words from others, just simply their presence!
Towards the end of the presentation, Matt quoted Romans 8:28, saying that God is "working" all things for good. Matt and Ginny truly believe that God has used their story and their son's life many times over for good. However, that doesn't mean they don't still feel the pain of their loss. He said that he has come to learn that he is "NEVER getting over it" and that HOPE doesn't lie in getting over your grief, but rather in REDEMPTION. He shared an analogy, from a book he likes titled Grace Disguised, of a tree stump in a yard. The stump is a reminder of the lost tree, but all around it is a beautifully landscaped garden. In a similar way, we need to create a new landscape around our loss.
He concluded by saying that in the midst of a loss, God can grab the paintbrush and make a beautiful painting out of an ugly situation.....and that's Redemption!!!
The DVD shared the story of Matt and Ginny Mooney - a young couple from Arkansas that had experienced the death of their first child when he was only 99 days old. The presentation started with a "video diary" entitled 99 balloons. If you are interested in viewing this, you can find it on You Tube. Shortly before the birth of their son, the Mooney's were told that he had a disease called Trisomy 18. He was born with an underdeveloped lung, a hole in his heart, and a very short life expectancy. Matt Mooney shared some thoughts on loss and grief.
He used the concept of a painting to explain the grieving process. As paintings are all similar in that they use paint, brushes and canvas, each one is also very unique. In the same way, there are commonalities of grief that we all know, but grief is very unique in circumstances, type of loss, etc. Some of the "brushstrokes" of the grieving process that he shared, included learning that "we are NOT in control; God is", frustration w/fellow Christians, the "craziness" of grief, the support of friends and fellow believers, and that God can use terrible circumstances for good.
He talked about how he had to turn to God, take his questions directly to God, and even wrestle with God, at times. And although he was looking for answers and clarity from God, he didn't get them. He said, "I wanted answers; God wanted INTIMACY. I KNOW God better, but understand him far less." He also talked about how some believers have the attitude that we should not grieve, because we believe in heaven. He shared the story of Lazarus' death in John 11 and talked about how "Jesus wept" even though he knew that death wasn't the end. This helps us learn that our hope DOES NOT negate our grief.
Ginny also spoke about how her grief/loss was greater than expected and that she had to cling to God's word and the support of friends/fellow believers. They didn't need reassuring words from others, just simply their presence!
Towards the end of the presentation, Matt quoted Romans 8:28, saying that God is "working" all things for good. Matt and Ginny truly believe that God has used their story and their son's life many times over for good. However, that doesn't mean they don't still feel the pain of their loss. He said that he has come to learn that he is "NEVER getting over it" and that HOPE doesn't lie in getting over your grief, but rather in REDEMPTION. He shared an analogy, from a book he likes titled Grace Disguised, of a tree stump in a yard. The stump is a reminder of the lost tree, but all around it is a beautifully landscaped garden. In a similar way, we need to create a new landscape around our loss.
He concluded by saying that in the midst of a loss, God can grab the paintbrush and make a beautiful painting out of an ugly situation.....and that's Redemption!!!
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