After an extended "break" for the holidays, it was really nice to meet with all of our fellow moms again this Tuesday!! Instead of a speaker today, we watched a DVD of a presentation that had been given at Spring Creek Church. Vikie introduced the video and mentioned that it was the first time that she could recall that we didn't have a "live" speaker for a Tuesday morning meeting.
The DVD shared the story of Matt and Ginny Mooney - a young couple from Arkansas that had experienced the death of their first child when he was only 99 days old. The presentation started with a "video diary" entitled 99 balloons. If you are interested in viewing this, you can find it on You Tube. Shortly before the birth of their son, the Mooney's were told that he had a disease called Trisomy 18. He was born with an underdeveloped lung, a hole in his heart, and a very short life expectancy. Matt Mooney shared some thoughts on loss and grief.
He used the concept of a painting to explain the grieving process. As paintings are all similar in that they use paint, brushes and canvas, each one is also very unique. In the same way, there are commonalities of grief that we all know, but grief is very unique in circumstances, type of loss, etc. Some of the "brushstrokes" of the grieving process that he shared, included learning that "we are NOT in control; God is", frustration w/fellow Christians, the "craziness" of grief, the support of friends and fellow believers, and that God can use terrible circumstances for good.
He talked about how he had to turn to God, take his questions directly to God, and even wrestle with God, at times. And although he was looking for answers and clarity from God, he didn't get them. He said, "I wanted answers; God wanted INTIMACY. I KNOW God better, but understand him far less." He also talked about how some believers have the attitude that we should not grieve, because we believe in heaven. He shared the story of Lazarus' death in John 11 and talked about how "Jesus wept" even though he knew that death wasn't the end. This helps us learn that our hope DOES NOT negate our grief.
Ginny also spoke about how her grief/loss was greater than expected and that she had to cling to God's word and the support of friends/fellow believers. They didn't need reassuring words from others, just simply their presence!
Towards the end of the presentation, Matt quoted Romans 8:28, saying that God is "working" all things for good. Matt and Ginny truly believe that God has used their story and their son's life many times over for good. However, that doesn't mean they don't still feel the pain of their loss. He said that he has come to learn that he is "NEVER getting over it" and that HOPE doesn't lie in getting over your grief, but rather in REDEMPTION. He shared an analogy, from a book he likes titled Grace Disguised, of a tree stump in a yard. The stump is a reminder of the lost tree, but all around it is a beautifully landscaped garden. In a similar way, we need to create a new landscape around our loss.
He concluded by saying that in the midst of a loss, God can grab the paintbrush and make a beautiful painting out of an ugly situation.....and that's Redemption!!!
This blog is dedicated to the Moms of Influence group at Northbrook Church in Richfield, WI.
