Be Ready

On May 5th, Laura Sandretti spoke about how to have age-appropriate conversations with your kids about sex.

Click HERE to listen to Laura's talk.

Be Strong

At our last meeting, Pat Quinn spoke to us about helping the strong-willed child. 
To hear Pat's talk, click HERE.

Here are some notes from Pat's outline/handout:
The outcome of almost every situation with a strong-willed person will be determined by: FEELINGS of control!
As a parent, you can help your child FEEL like he/she is in control while actually still maintaining the control. 
You can provide "limited choices" that give a feeling of control.

The 4 Rules of Power & Control:

1. Let the child FEEL control
2. Be the ADULT!
3. NO winners!
4. Pick your battles!!!!

When there is no way to put the child "in control" of the situation or choice, you should give them a substitute behavior/activity.
Say: "Here is another AWESOME opportunity where you can be in control."
Make sure that you replace their "fun" behavior with something even MORE fun!  Kids are easily distracted, but not by boring activities!

Actions that STOP cooperation include:

• Accusations
• Sarcasm (DON'T use it)
• Giving orders
• Blame
• Put-downs
• Discouraging Prophecy
• Threats & Warnings
• Lectures
• Shame & Name calling

Actions that ENCOURAGE cooperation:

• Give information
• Describe the problem
• Offer a choice
• Say it with ONE word
• Describe what you feel
• Write a note (or draw a picture)
• Use another voice or accent

 Use If-Then Statements when needed.  You want to be a teacher, not a punisher.  Once you feel that your child understands the desired behavior and yet he/she continues in the undesired behavior, you can issue an "If-Then Statement".
For example: "IF you hit your brother again, THEN you will lose your phone for 24 hours."
Make sure you follow through with the THEN!

Five Mistakes to Avoid:

• NOT giving a substitute behavior
• Distance & Audience
• Promises: don't make promises you can't keep
• Sarcasm
• Body positioning and eye level

I hope you are encouraged and inspired by Pat's ideas.  I know that I am going to try some of them with my THREE strong willed children!!

Hope to see you at the next MOI meeting on May 5th.  Our speaker will be Laura Sandretti.

Be Renewed

Our meeting last week was all about Easter (even though it was really St. Patrick's Day.... ha ha)!!

Rachel Inouye spoke to us about the true message of Easter, which is HOPE!  She had us repeat the following phrase throughout the morning:
  "I will NOT fear; instead I WILL have hope!!"

She shared that there has never been a bigger problem than a dead Savior/Jesus....
Yet even that was NO problem for our great God!
He can roll away any "stone" in our lives!!

Our world is broken.
God sent Jesus to fix/heal that brokenness.
God's grace is available to ALL....
Jesus died ONCE for ALL!
The open and empty tomb is HOPE!!!

To listen to Rachel's encouraging message of HOPE, click HERE.

Please join us at our next meeting on April 21st to learn tips on parenting challenges and how to handle a strong-willed child.

Have a VERY Happy Easter!

Be Curious

Northbrook's Senior Pastor, Mike Bellanti, took time to answer some of our questions about God/faith/religion. 

Many of the questions submitted by our group members dealt with the issue of tragedy/suffering and why God allows bad things to happen.  
Mike shared that our natural tendency is to try to make sense of our suffering and that it is okay to ask "Why?".  But, sometimes, we may never get an answer to the "Why?".
A better way to handle/process suffering is to transition to the question: "How?"
  HOW can I process this situation and walk through this?
  HOW can I glorify God in the midst of suffering?
  HOW can I use this situation/tragedy for God's glory?

Another popular question that Mike addressed was: "How do we keep God present in our children's lives?"
 He suggested that we not teach the Bible as just a "rule book", but rather, we should MODEL the living God to our kids.  We should present Christianity as awesome and LIFE-giving....not boring and full of rules. 
  Also, we should keep the "BIG story" of God alive for our kids.  We can teach them about God's plan/his story, teach them about sin and holiness, and read the bible and pray with them.

Be Resilient

Elizabeth Murphy presented a talk entitled "How to Float Your Boat - Living a Life of Resilience".  If you weren't  able to join us or would like to hear this talk again, click HERE.
Here are some notes from her hand out as well:

1)  What is Resilience?
    Being resilient means springing back/rebounding
    Resiliency takes practice!
    We have goals, but God has a PLAN!!
    We will NEVER fail in God's eyes!

2) The Resilient Woman:

• has a godly perspective
• has a relationship with Christ
• lives in the "CAN"
• is a grateful woman; find SOMETHING to be grateful for
• is a mindful woman; fill your mind with God's word
• is a careful woman; be careful who you listen to

3) The Resilient Wife:

• has realistic expectations about her husband
• reframes failures into lessons learned
• keeps the small things small and manages her emotions
• accepts the differences of her husband and realizes she can't change them
• remembers what is GOOD!

 4) The Resilient Friend:

• learns to say "No" 
• takes inventory of relationships; replenishing vs. depleting friends
• knows each other's stories

5) The Resilient Mom:

• depends on a SUPER God
• doesn't parent out of fear/worry
• trusts her intuition and sets healthy boundaries
• parents her OWN children (don't compare/contrast)
• knows when "tough love" matters and knows the value of tenderness
• reaches out to other moms
• raises resilient kids!

Some ways to "Build Up Your Boat"

1. Hang around with other "boats"
2. Heighten your skills (read about parenting/study your children)
3. Help - Ask questions of other/older moms
4. Hire what you can/Barter for the rest
5. Huff and Puff (take care of yourself!)
6. Honest look:  Children have Present Value NOT just Future Potential
7. Hope in the Capable Captain (Mark 4:35-41)

 We also worked on a service project during our small group time.  We were able to tie and stuff 50 pillows for patients in the Cardiac ICU at Children's Hospital.  These will be delivered during CHD Awareness Week (February 7-14).  Thank you so much for your help on this special project!!!