Though the title of today's program was "Women's Health", it was more focused on women's emotionaland mental health. No doubt we all struggle (or have struggled) with various emotional issues, so we were fortunate to have Sarah Reik, a licensed professional counselor, woman, Christian and mom speak with us candidly about some of our most pressing emotional challenges. Sarah owns Trinity Counseling Services, LLC and specializes in Christian counseling, using the truth of God's Word to help hurting people. She works with individuals, couples, and families dealing with such issues as depression, anxiety, relationship problems, money management, job loss, struggling marriages, divorce recovery, adolescent issues, and stress management.
MOPS moms had submitted questions and topics prior to today's meeting for Sarah to prepare and discuss. Some of the issues covered were:
engaging an unwilling spouse in counseling,
struggling with marital intimacy,
grieving the loss of a child,
identifying depression (postpartum or otherwise) in self or others,
supporting an unemployed spouse.
As moms, we often think we should be able to "do it all". Through Sarah's candid discussion, we were reminded that it's OK to ask for help, we don't have to do it all, and we are not alone. There is no shame in seeking counseling.
What better way to care for our family if we first take care of our spiritual, emotional and mental health!
Today's topic was "Marriagology: Love and Respect", presented by a Christian couple that has been married for almost 20 years. Our speakers feel that you must build your marriage on a strong foundation, with God at the center. That doesn't mean you won't face "storms" in your marriage, but that when those storms come, you will have a solid, firm foundation on which to stand!
They shared with us some of the rules in their marriage, including: putting God at the center of the marriage, making each other and the marriage the TOP priority (over jobs, kids, etc), taking a one-week vacation without the kids each year, and maintaining an active prayer life.
A large part of their talk focused on concepts found in the book "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs.
Ephesians 5:33 reads, "Husbands must love their wives as themselves and wives must respect their husbands."
Our speakers (and Eggerichs' book) talked about 3 different cycles in marriage: Crazy Cycle, Energizing Cycle, and Rewarded Cycle.
Crazy Cycle: Without Love - She Reacts - Without Respect - He Reacts - Without Love......
Energizing Cycle: His Love - Motivates - Her Respect - Motivates - His Love......
We learned about 6 ways to spell respect to our husbands, using the acronym C.H.A.I.R.S.
Conquest - Appreciate his desire to work and achieve (their work is their identity)
Hierarchy - Appreciate his desire to protect and provide
Authority - Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead (don't override or overrule him)
Insight - Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel (don't discount his opinions)
Relationship - Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship
Sexuality - Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy
Rewarded Cycle: His Love - Regardless of - Her Respect - Regardless of - His Love.....
Due to inclement weather (the predicted "paralyzing blizzard"), we had to cancel our MOPS meeting this morning. Our scheduled speaker has agreed to come back for our March 1st meeting to talk to us about Women's Health issues. We hope that you all stay warm and safe during the storm. See you in two weeks when our topic will be "Love & Respect in Marriage".
Today's talk focused on relationships and highlighted information from one chapter of Gary Smalley's book, The DNA of Relationships. The main focus of the talk was on creating a safe environment within our relationships. We learned that there are 5 steps to safety in relationships:
1) Respect the Wall - Sometimes a person that we are in relationship with may put up a wall in order to protect him/herself and to feel safe in the relationship. You need to let the person know that you are aware of the wall and respect its presence and that you don't require him/her to break down the wall until he/she feels safe doing so.
2) Honor Others - We need to see others the way God sees them. First, think of the person you are in a relationship with as personally autographed by God. Try keeping a list of the good qualities of that person (ex: Gary Smalley keeps an "honor journal"). Finally, try playing the "bombardment" game where you choose one person and "bombard" him/her with compliments for 60 seconds!
3) Suspend Judgment - Judgment tends to close people up and shut them down; it results in people putting up walls.. Instead of judging the person you are with, try asking questions that show interest and compassion.
4) Value Differences - Realize that differences can be a blessing. How can you make the differences work for your relationship? Food for thought: you might find something another person does irritating because it highlightssomething about yourself that you don't like.
5) Be Trustworthy - Treat others in a way that shows you recognize their value and vulnerability. Dr. Smalley says that we need to be trustworthy with others and with our self. Yes, it's important to be treat others well, but don't forget how valuable you are!! You need to act in ways that express YOUR OWN value and vulnerability. Sometimes that may mean building a wall of protection in a relationship.
As we returned from the holiday break with eating right and fresh starts on our minds, what better time to have a speaker give a cooking presentation! Susan Anderson shared with us her love of food, cooking, and making wholesome meals for her family. We had the pleasure of watching her prepare a few of her favorites recipes, which she provided as takeaways for the group. She reminded us that fresh does not necessarily mean expensive, time-intensive, complicated, or fancy. With a little bit of planning and stocking the pantry, we can make fresh, wholesome foods and still have time to spend with our families!
Aside from the great cooking tips, Susan also shared with us some of her own spiritual journey. While most people make resolutions this time of year to eat right, exercise more, or just become healthier, how many of us make resolutions regarding our spiritual health? Just as we can easily let artificial ingredients overrun our food choices, we can also fall into the easy trap of letting artificial "ingredients" overrun our spiritual life. These artificial ingredients in our food may be toxic and cancerous to our bodies; likewise, artificial spiritual "ingredients" are cancerous to our spiritual health and relationship with God.
Through Susan's commitment to read the Bible in a year, God impressed upon her some eye-opening truths.
God loves us personally and has a specific plan for our lives. If we follow His agenda, we can trust in the good plans He has for us.
Religious myths can become theological "truths" in our lives. Make sure the object of your faith is worthy!
There is a difference between head knowledge about God and heart knowledge about God.
What a great reminder to us all that we need to take care of our physical needs (and those of our family) by eating right and exercising, but we especially need to take care of our spritual needs by nourishing our relationship with God with wholesome "food".
