They shared with us some of the rules in their marriage, including: putting God at the center of the marriage, making each other and the marriage the TOP priority (over jobs, kids, etc), taking a one-week vacation without the kids each year, and maintaining an active prayer life.
A large part of their talk focused on concepts found in the book "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs.
Ephesians 5:33 reads, "Husbands must love their wives as themselves and wives must respect their husbands."
Our speakers (and Eggerichs' book) talked about 3 different cycles in marriage: Crazy Cycle, Energizing Cycle, and Rewarded Cycle.
Crazy Cycle: Without Love - She Reacts - Without Respect - He Reacts - Without Love......
Energizing Cycle: His Love - Motivates - Her Respect - Motivates - His Love......
We learned about 6 ways to spell respect to our husbands, using the acronym C.H.A.I.R.S.
- Conquest - Appreciate his desire to work and achieve (their work is their identity)
- Hierarchy - Appreciate his desire to protect and provide
- Authority - Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead (don't override or overrule him)
- Insight - Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel (don't discount his opinions)
- Relationship - Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship
- Sexuality - Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy
