February 15: Neon Nights: Love & Respect in Marriage

Today's topic was "Marriagology: Love and Respect", presented by a Christian couple that has been married for almost 20 years.  Our speakers feel that you must build your marriage on a strong foundation, with God at the center.  That doesn't mean you won't face "storms" in your marriage, but that when those storms come, you will have a solid, firm foundation on which to stand!
They shared with us some of the rules in their marriage, including: putting God at the center of the marriage, making each other and the marriage the TOP priority (over jobs, kids, etc), taking a one-week vacation without the kids each year, and maintaining an active prayer life.
A large part of their talk focused on concepts found in the book "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs.
Ephesians 5:33 reads, "Husbands must love their wives as themselves and wives must respect their husbands." 
Our speakers (and Eggerichs' book) talked about 3 different cycles in marriage: Crazy Cycle, Energizing Cycle, and Rewarded Cycle.

Crazy Cycle: Without Love - She Reacts - Without Respect - He Reacts - Without Love......

Energizing Cycle: His Love - Motivates - Her Respect - Motivates - His Love......

  We learned about 6 ways to spell respect to our husbands, using the acronym C.H.A.I.R.S.

• Conquest -  Appreciate his desire to work and achieve (their work is their identity)
• Hierarchy - Appreciate his desire to protect and provide
• Authority - Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead (don't override or overrule him)
• Insight - Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel (don't discount his opinions)
• Relationship - Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship
• Sexuality - Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy

Rewarded Cycle: His Love - Regardless of - Her Respect - Regardless of - His Love.....

February 1 - SNOW DAY!!

Due to inclement weather (the predicted "paralyzing blizzard"), we had to cancel our MOPS meeting this morning.  Our scheduled speaker has agreed to come back for our March 1st meeting to talk to us about Women's Health issues.  We hope that you all stay warm and safe during the storm.  See you in two weeks when our topic will be "Love & Respect in Marriage". 

January 18: Copper: Protection: DNA of Relationships

Today's talk focused on relationships and highlighted information from one chapter of Gary Smalley's book, The DNA of Relationships.  The main focus of the talk was on creating a safe environment within our relationships.  We learned that there are 5 steps to safety in relationships:

1) Respect the Wall - Sometimes a person that we are in relationship with may put up a wall in order to protect him/herself and to feel safe in the relationship.  You need to let the person know that you are aware of the wall and respect its presence and that you don't require him/her to break down the wall until he/she feels safe doing so. 

2) Honor Others - We need to see others the way God sees them.  First, think of the person you are in a relationship with as personally autographed by God.  Try keeping a list of the good qualities of that person (ex: Gary Smalley keeps an "honor journal").  Finally, try playing the "bombardment" game where you choose one person and "bombard" him/her with compliments for 60 seconds!

3) Suspend Judgment - Judgment tends to close people up and shut them down; it results in people putting up walls..  Instead of judging the person you are with, try asking questions that show interest and compassion. 

4) Value Differences - Realize that differences can be a blessing.  How can you make the differences work for your relationship?  Food for thought: you might find something another person does irritating because it highlights something about yourself that you don't like. 

5) Be Trustworthy - Treat others in a way that shows you recognize their value and vulnerability.  Dr. Smalley says that we need to be trustworthy with others and with our self.  Yes, it's important to be treat others well, but don't forget how valuable you are!!  You need to act in ways that express YOUR OWN value and vulnerability.  Sometimes that may mean building a wall of protection in a relationship.

January 4: Aluminum Foil: No Leftovers Here

As we returned from the holiday break with eating right and fresh starts on our minds, what better time to have a speaker give a cooking presentation!  Susan Anderson shared with us her love of food, cooking, and making wholesome meals for her family.  We had the pleasure of watching her prepare a few of her favorites recipes, which she provided as takeaways for the group.  She reminded us that fresh does not necessarily mean expensive, time-intensive, complicated, or fancy.  With a little bit of planning and stocking the pantry, we can make fresh, wholesome foods and still have time to spend with our families!
Aside from the great cooking tips, Susan also shared with us some of her own spiritual journey.  While most people make resolutions this time of year to eat right, exercise more, or just become healthier, how many of us make resolutions regarding our spiritual health?  Just as we can easily let artificial ingredients overrun our food choices, we can also fall into the easy trap of letting artificial "ingredients" overrun our spiritual life.  These artificial ingredients in our food may be toxic and cancerous to our bodies; likewise, artificial spiritual "ingredients" are cancerous to our spiritual health and relationship with God.
Through Susan's commitment to read the Bible in a year, God impressed upon her some eye-opening truths.

1. God loves us personally and has a specific plan for our lives.  If we follow His agenda, we can trust in the good plans He has for us.
2. Religious myths can become theological "truths" in our lives.  Make sure the object of your faith is worthy!
3. There is a difference between head knowledge about God and heart knowledge about God.

What a great reminder to us all that we need to take care of our physical needs (and those of our family) by eating right and exercising, but we especially need to take care of our spritual needs by nourishing our relationship with God with wholesome "food".

December 7: Gold: Rich Blessings: Christmas Brunch

In the midst of the hustle and bustle of holiday preparations, it was so nice to take some time out to relax and celebrate Christmas with our fellow MOPS moms.  We heard some wonderful truths from our speaker, made a fun ornament craft, and played a Christmas "Four Corners" game to get us chatting with others and in the mood for the Christmas season!!  Our speaker today spoke on the topic of blessings and the true meaning of Christmas.
She started by sharing some fun statistics about how we (as a nation) spend our money and just how long those Christmas gifts will last....setting up the idea that our "things" are not eternal or of much worth.  Then, she went on to tell us that our word Christmas comes from two Latin words meaning "Christ" and "mass".  Also, "Noel" is French for good news. 
She shared that the hidden treasures of God are everywhere.  Our job is to mine, search, and hunt for the things of God in our lives and our children.  We need to hold onto those little "gold flecks", such as an "I love you" from our kids, an extra long nap, sharing time together, etc.
Gold has beauty, it sparkles, and it has unique properties (most pliable/pure metal, doesn't decay or corrode).  It also symbolizes wealth and honor.  But still, it is only physical material and won't last forever.
However, there is something more special/valuable than gold and it WILL last forever.  That is our faith in Jesus.  "Trust" in God is the action word for faith and it can give meaning to every aspect of our lives. 
One great practical idea was to picture yourself sitting on God's lap asking for faith, the help to trust him, and for him to open your eyes.  Our speaker suggested that we need to have faith like a child because a child simply believes without having to understand how everything works.  God has a way of making himself known to us.
Finally, she shared 2 Corinthians 9 with us.  She pointed out that God gave you resources/talents/things to share.  Whenever you use what he's given you, he will make something happen.  So, we are to be generous with what we have and find opportunities to share our faith, help others, etc.  We should pour out what God's given to us on others so that they might see God.  Be generous with your time, talents, and resources this Christmas season.
Have a very blessed Christmas and we will see you again on the first Tuesday in January (2011!!!!)