Today's talk focused on relationships and highlighted information from one chapter of Gary Smalley's book, The DNA of Relationships. The main focus of the talk was on creating a safe environment within our relationships. We learned that there are 5 steps to safety in relationships:
1) Respect the Wall - Sometimes a person that we are in relationship with may put up a wall in order to protect him/herself and to feel safe in the relationship. You need to let the person know that you are aware of the wall and respect its presence and that you don't require him/her to break down the wall until he/she feels safe doing so.
2) Honor Others - We need to see others the way God sees them. First, think of the person you are in a relationship with as personally autographed by God. Try keeping a list of the good qualities of that person (ex: Gary Smalley keeps an "honor journal"). Finally, try playing the "bombardment" game where you choose one person and "bombard" him/her with compliments for 60 seconds!
3) Suspend Judgment - Judgment tends to close people up and shut them down; it results in people putting up walls.. Instead of judging the person you are with, try asking questions that show interest and compassion.
4) Value Differences - Realize that differences can be a blessing. How can you make the differences work for your relationship? Food for thought: you might find something another person does irritating because it highlights something about yourself that you don't like.
5) Be Trustworthy - Treat others in a way that shows you recognize their value and vulnerability. Dr. Smalley says that we need to be trustworthy with others and with our self. Yes, it's important to be treat others well, but don't forget how valuable you are!! You need to act in ways that express YOUR OWN value and vulnerability. Sometimes that may mean building a wall of protection in a relationship.
This blog is dedicated to the Moms of Influence group at Northbrook Church in Richfield, WI.
January 4: Aluminum Foil: No Leftovers Here
As we returned from the holiday break with eating right and fresh starts on our minds, what better time to have a speaker give a cooking presentation! Susan Anderson shared with us her love of food, cooking, and making wholesome meals for her family. We had the pleasure of watching her prepare a few of her favorites recipes, which she provided as takeaways for the group. She reminded us that fresh does not necessarily mean expensive, time-intensive, complicated, or fancy. With a little bit of planning and stocking the pantry, we can make fresh, wholesome foods and still have time to spend with our families!
Aside from the great cooking tips, Susan also shared with us some of her own spiritual journey. While most people make resolutions this time of year to eat right, exercise more, or just become healthier, how many of us make resolutions regarding our spiritual health? Just as we can easily let artificial ingredients overrun our food choices, we can also fall into the easy trap of letting artificial "ingredients" overrun our spiritual life. These artificial ingredients in our food may be toxic and cancerous to our bodies; likewise, artificial spiritual "ingredients" are cancerous to our spiritual health and relationship with God.
Through Susan's commitment to read the Bible in a year, God impressed upon her some eye-opening truths.
Aside from the great cooking tips, Susan also shared with us some of her own spiritual journey. While most people make resolutions this time of year to eat right, exercise more, or just become healthier, how many of us make resolutions regarding our spiritual health? Just as we can easily let artificial ingredients overrun our food choices, we can also fall into the easy trap of letting artificial "ingredients" overrun our spiritual life. These artificial ingredients in our food may be toxic and cancerous to our bodies; likewise, artificial spiritual "ingredients" are cancerous to our spiritual health and relationship with God.
Through Susan's commitment to read the Bible in a year, God impressed upon her some eye-opening truths.
- God loves us personally and has a specific plan for our lives. If we follow His agenda, we can trust in the good plans He has for us.
- Religious myths can become theological "truths" in our lives. Make sure the object of your faith is worthy!
- There is a difference between head knowledge about God and heart knowledge about God.
December 7: Gold: Rich Blessings: Christmas Brunch
In the midst of the hustle and bustle of holiday preparations, it was so nice to take some time out to relax and celebrate Christmas with our fellow MOPS moms. We heard some wonderful truths from our speaker, made a fun ornament craft, and played a Christmas "Four Corners" game to get us chatting with others and in the mood for the Christmas season!! Our speaker today spoke on the topic of blessings and the true meaning of Christmas.
She started by sharing some fun statistics about how we (as a nation) spend our money and just how long those Christmas gifts will last....setting up the idea that our "things" are not eternal or of much worth. Then, she went on to tell us that our word Christmas comes from two Latin words meaning "Christ" and "mass". Also, "Noel" is French for good news.
She shared that the hidden treasures of God are everywhere. Our job is to mine, search, and hunt for the things of God in our lives and our children. We need to hold onto those little "gold flecks", such as an "I love you" from our kids, an extra long nap, sharing time together, etc.
Gold has beauty, it sparkles, and it has unique properties (most pliable/pure metal, doesn't decay or corrode). It also symbolizes wealth and honor. But still, it is only physical material and won't last forever.
However, there is something more special/valuable than gold and it WILL last forever. That is our faith in Jesus. "Trust" in God is the action word for faith and it can give meaning to every aspect of our lives.
One great practical idea was to picture yourself sitting on God's lap asking for faith, the help to trust him, and for him to open your eyes. Our speaker suggested that we need to have faith like a child because a child simply believes without having to understand how everything works. God has a way of making himself known to us.
Finally, she shared 2 Corinthians 9 with us. She pointed out that God gave you resources/talents/things to share. Whenever you use what he's given you, he will make something happen. So, we are to be generous with what we have and find opportunities to share our faith, help others, etc. We should pour out what God's given to us on others so that they might see God. Be generous with your time, talents, and resources this Christmas season.
Have a very blessed Christmas and we will see you again on the first Tuesday in January (2011!!!!)
She started by sharing some fun statistics about how we (as a nation) spend our money and just how long those Christmas gifts will last....setting up the idea that our "things" are not eternal or of much worth. Then, she went on to tell us that our word Christmas comes from two Latin words meaning "Christ" and "mass". Also, "Noel" is French for good news.
She shared that the hidden treasures of God are everywhere. Our job is to mine, search, and hunt for the things of God in our lives and our children. We need to hold onto those little "gold flecks", such as an "I love you" from our kids, an extra long nap, sharing time together, etc.
Gold has beauty, it sparkles, and it has unique properties (most pliable/pure metal, doesn't decay or corrode). It also symbolizes wealth and honor. But still, it is only physical material and won't last forever.
However, there is something more special/valuable than gold and it WILL last forever. That is our faith in Jesus. "Trust" in God is the action word for faith and it can give meaning to every aspect of our lives.
One great practical idea was to picture yourself sitting on God's lap asking for faith, the help to trust him, and for him to open your eyes. Our speaker suggested that we need to have faith like a child because a child simply believes without having to understand how everything works. God has a way of making himself known to us.
Finally, she shared 2 Corinthians 9 with us. She pointed out that God gave you resources/talents/things to share. Whenever you use what he's given you, he will make something happen. So, we are to be generous with what we have and find opportunities to share our faith, help others, etc. We should pour out what God's given to us on others so that they might see God. Be generous with your time, talents, and resources this Christmas season.
Have a very blessed Christmas and we will see you again on the first Tuesday in January (2011!!!!)
Julie Barnhill: She's Gonna Blow, Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger
Instead of the usual speaker, we did something a little out of the ordinary at our most recent MOPS meeting. We enjoyed a one-hour video featuring Julie Barnhill, author of She's Gonna Blow! Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger.
Julie offered humor and touched on practical strategies for coping with the anger that sometimes surfaces when dealing with our children. She reminded all of us that we are not alone as moms and as moms dealing with anger.
Based primarily on her own struggles, failures and successes in dealing with her children and her anger, Julie shared the lessons she has learned in raising her kids. In the video, she described various types of anger eruptions, comparing them to different types of volcanoes. She used her anecdotes to remind moms that we all struggle and deal with anger differently, but we need to keep ourselves in check and find healthier ways of expressing anger. Anger is a natural human emotion, but if left unchecked, it can damage or even destroy the spirit of our children. If as moms we are to be a role model and example of God's love and grace to our children, we must be more positive and realize we cannot do everything ourselves, no matter how good we are at multitasking!
Julie challenged moms to let go of those control issues, draw closer to God, and to remember our children really are a blessing.
Julie offered humor and touched on practical strategies for coping with the anger that sometimes surfaces when dealing with our children. She reminded all of us that we are not alone as moms and as moms dealing with anger.
Based primarily on her own struggles, failures and successes in dealing with her children and her anger, Julie shared the lessons she has learned in raising her kids. In the video, she described various types of anger eruptions, comparing them to different types of volcanoes. She used her anecdotes to remind moms that we all struggle and deal with anger differently, but we need to keep ourselves in check and find healthier ways of expressing anger. Anger is a natural human emotion, but if left unchecked, it can damage or even destroy the spirit of our children. If as moms we are to be a role model and example of God's love and grace to our children, we must be more positive and realize we cannot do everything ourselves, no matter how good we are at multitasking!
Julie challenged moms to let go of those control issues, draw closer to God, and to remember our children really are a blessing.
November 2: Helium: The Lighter Side of Parenting
Today, our speaker shared three very important thoughts about/for moms.
1. You are valuable:
Eric kept referring to Psalm 127:3, which states, "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him."
He made the point that God trusts you and values you enough to give you the gift of your children.
He made the point that God trusts you and values you enough to give you the gift of your children.
He said that if you were to add up the monetary value of all you do as a mom (housekeeper, nanny, driver, laundry, dishwasher, events coordinator, etc, etc), you would make $125,900 a year!!
However, as a mom, we are most often paid with the kisses, hugs, and affection we get from our children.
2. You are treasured:
Eric showed us a bunch of the "treasures" he has received from his children, including handmade crafts, little notes/cards, drawings, etc. These are the things that should be held onto and treasured.
He shared that a study found that teenagers admit that parents are still the biggest influence in their life. So, we are treasured and valued by our children.
3. Treasure your role as a mom and the time you have with your children:
Eric's wife, Michelle, shared a devotional about being a busy, stressed out mom. This devotional compared the daily tasks of motherhood to stringing beads. You spend time stringing the beads only to have them all "fall off" again at the end of the day.
She told us that at times we should take a break from the cleaning and chores to spend some one-on-one time with our kids (coloring, playing, being silly, just enjoying our time together).
We need to seek out God's plan and agenda for our children and families. Hear God say, "by serving these little ones, you are serving me".
Try not to get so wrapped up in the "stuff" that you forget what's really important.
Finally, find ways to let God impact your life and your family. One practical tip that Michelle shared was this: When she is ironing, instead of grumbling and complaining about doing a task she hates, she chooses to ask God to bless the person whose clothes she is ironing. What an interesting and different perspective!
Remember, that you are TREASURED and VALUABLE!!!! Take some time today to enjoy your little ones....we all know they grow up too fast!!
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